In this powerful and deeply validating episode of PCOS Unfiltered, Lindsie sits down with Tamilynn Edwards to explore a conversation that doesn’t happen nearly enough—the connection between PCOS (now PMOS), your body, and your relationship with intimacy, desire, and self-worth. Tamilynn shares her raw and honest journey of being diagnosed at just 15 years old and navigating decades of confusion, pain, and medical dismissal. From being told she would never have children, to experiencing extreme hormonal imbalances, to making life-altering medical decisions without fully informed guidance—her story reflects what so many women silently endure. But this episode goes far beyond her experience. Together, Lindsie and Tamilynn unpack the deeper layers of PCOS—how it can disconnect you from your body, distort your self-perception, and impact your ability to feel safe, confident, and fully present in yourself. They explore the role of hormones, the nervous system, and lived experiences in shaping how you feel—not just physically, but emotionally and relationally. And most importantly, they challenge one of the most harmful beliefs many women carry: 👉 That something about them is broken. Instead, this conversation invites you into a new perspective—one rooted in curiosity, self-trust, and understanding. Because when you stop trying to force your body into someone else’s version of health and start learning your body’s language…everything begins to change.
🔞 This episode is marked explicit due to mature conversations around intimacy, sexuality, and women’s health.
In this episode, Tammilynn Edwards shares her decades-long journey with PCOS—from early diagnosis and medical dismissal to ultimately reconnecting with her body and reclaiming her sense of self. The conversation goes beyond symptoms to explore how hormones, experiences, and the nervous system shape a woman’s relationship with her body, intuition, and intimacy. Together, Lindsie and Tamilynn deliver a powerful message: you are not broken—what’s been missing is understanding, and when that understanding begins, everything can shift.
⚠️ Podcast Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your health routine.
(0:00) Eventually, one of those periods was so excruciatingly painful, I couldn't work. (0:07) In that time, I ended up going to one doctor, then to another doctor. You know, I think a lot (0:14) of women know what that feels like when you're constantly going, you know that something is wrong.(0:22) Hey beautiful, welcome back to PCOS Unfiltered. I'm your host, (0:26) Lindsie, and today's episode is one that I think is going to land on a very deep level (0:32) because we're talking about something that doesn't get talked about nearly enough, (0:35) and that's the connection between PCOS, your body, and your relationship with intimacy, (0:41) desire, and self-worth. Today, I'm joined by Tamilynn Edwards, a board-certified (0:46) clinical sexologist and intimacy coach who has over 18 years of experience helping women (0:52) reconnect with their bodies in a way that feels safe, empowering, and completely shame-free.(0:58) But what makes this conversation so powerful is her story. Tamilynn was diagnosed with PCOS (1:03) at just 15 years old, navigating years of confusion, pain, dismissal, and major medical (1:09) decisions without truly being given the full picture of what was happening in her body.
(1:14) And like so many of you listening, she was left trying to figure it out on her own.(1:18) In this episode, we go way beyond the surface and talk about how PCOS can impact not just your (1:24) physical health, but your relationship with your body and sexuality, the emotional toll of feeling (1:29) dismissed, misunderstood, or broken, why so many women struggle with desire, arousal, and body (1:35) confidence, and what's actually happening underneath that, the importance of learning your body, (1:40) advocating for yourself, and using the right language to communicate what you're experiencing, (1:45) and one of the biggest themes of all, why you are not broken and never were. (1:50) This conversation is honest, raw, and incredibly empowering, (1:53) and it's going to help you see your body in a completely different way. (1:57) As a reminder, the content shared on PCOS Unfiltered is for informational and educational (2:02) purposes only.The views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not intended to serve (2:08) as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes (2:13) to your diet, exercise, or treatment plan. The information shared is based on personal experience (2:18) and expert interviews, and it's not a substitute for professional medical guidance.
(2:22) Now let's get into it. Here's my conversation with Tamilynn Edwards. (2:34) Hello and welcome.Welcome back to the show and welcome to Tammy Lynn. She has a good story. I (2:44) think so many women need to hear your story and then also hear what you're doing now.Let's start (2:54) there. Tell us from the beginning, all the things, the good, bad, and the ugly. (3:00) The good, bad, the ugly.I will start with... First and foremost, I was diagnosed with PCOS (3:10) when I was 15. I had my first period when I was 15 going on 16, and then it just stopped. (3:21) And of course, when you're that age, your parents automatically assume something is wrong.You don't (3:27) really know. I also came from a very religious Roman Catholic upbringing, so it's not like the (3:35) typical now what you hear, the period talk. It's not like we had those conversations.(3:42) There was no conversation about any of it at all whatsoever, so I was going a little blind. (3:49) Eventually, I was diagnosed with PCOS. Like I said, I had my first period when I was 15.(3:57) I didn't have my next period until after my daughter was born, which is almost like a (4:04) looking back, the miracle in disguise, considering when I was 15 and I was told, (4:11) you have PCOS. And they had this long list of all the things. And again, you also have to remember (4:17) that was about 35 years ago.So 35 years ago, there wasn't as much information as there is now.
(4:28) And some of the things that I was told, I would never have children. (4:32) I would always have cysts.Again, this is an uncharted territory. We're really not sure what (4:40) we can do, but as things happen, just know. It was one of those conversations where it was, (4:48) go see an endocrinologist, but we can't test your hormones.You know what I mean? (4:52) So there's all of those things that happen. And ultimately, what ended up happening, (4:57) so I had my daughter at 18, I had my son at 19, so exactly 18 months apart. (5:06) And I think it was probably, I want to say two or three years after having my son, (5:12) my periods got worse, where they would last sometimes six months, sometimes seven months, (5:17) sometimes I didn't have one for a whole year.And eventually, one of those periods was so (5:24) excruciatingly painful, I couldn't work. In that time, I ended up going to one doctor, (5:32) then to another doctor. I think a lot of women know what that feels like when you're constantly (5:38) going, you know that something is wrong.And again, remember 35, 36 years ago, (5:44) the internet wasn't what it is now. I couldn't type into Google and be like, hey, here's my (5:49) symptoms, right? So back then it really was, I needed to make an appointment with a doctor (5:53) who then sent me to a specialist who then sent me to another specialist because nobody really knew. (5:58) And it was a whole lot easier to just say, you're a woman, suck it up.Periods from one (6:06) gynecologist to another gynecologist back and forth. Eventually, what ended up happening was (6:14) I, because of my maternal side's history with, again, female sexual organs, (6:23) my mother's had breast cancer twice. So first it was a single mastectomy, then a double mastectomy.
(6:30) She's had ovarian cancer, cervical cancer. And the last time she had cancer was metastatic melanoma. (6:36) So again, a lot of the things that I could have done, they automatically kind of, nope, (6:42) here's what your history is.Okay. Well, that's my mother's history. Can you not give me an option? (6:48) So again, needless to say, I ended up convincing a doctor and I know this is not necessarily (6:54) something that I would suggest somebody do, especially not now with the information that (7:00) we have.But I convinced a doctor to give me a partial hysterectomy. It was like, I'm never having (7:06) any more children, but I can't deal. I can't deal with the pain anymore.I can't deal with this. And (7:13) if you guys can't tell me how to mitigate what I'm experiencing, I don't know what else to do. (7:20) We tried a DNC.We tried all of the things. It was try this birth control, try this birth control. (7:26) And the easiest possible way for me to convince these doctors.And again, I'm in Canada, (7:32) was I lied. I sure did. I lied.And I said, I'm allergic to this birth control. I'm allergic (7:38) to metformin. Here's what it does to my body.And all of these things in order for them to (7:44) do what I wanted them to do, because nobody was giving me any correct answers. Fast forward, (7:50) after having that partial hysterectomy, I will say this, all of the things that I've learned,
(7:57) I'm grateful for my experience for a couple of reasons. One, because then I can actually educate (8:02) other women of the choices that we actually have now.Two, because it really has shifted and shaped (8:10) not just my identity, but how I have shown up in the world. And that goes to, again, (8:19) having a partial hysterectomy in my early, well, late twenties, which then resulted in (8:27) them just taking my uterus and the cervix. So that kind of took out the possibility of (8:32) cervical cancer.However, some of the other symptoms like most people experience is the (8:38) excessive weight gain. So it didn't matter what I did. I could work out four days a week.(8:45) I could eat a balanced meal. I could do all of the things and still, and it wasn't necessarily (8:54) about losing the weight. It was, I didn't feel healthy.I didn't feel sexy in my own skin. (9:00) I knew that at five feet three, I should not be 245 pounds. And like I said, it seemed like it (9:10) just didn't matter what I did.And again, meeting other women who were told some of the same things, (9:20) yet knowing that I was able to have children, then to me, that kind of meant that there was (9:27) bigger and better things for me and that I could actually advocate for myself. So fast forward (9:36) to finally seeing a female gynecologist in my thirties, who (9:44) bursted my bubble and kind of shifted a lot of my thinking. She let me know that I didn't have to
(9:53) do, I didn't have to go that drastic route.She's sorry that nobody actually, not necessarily talked (10:02) me out of it, but that she's extremely sorry that nobody properly informed me about any of those (10:10) shifts and making that drastic of a choice. Fast forward. I feel like a lot of times people are (10:16) like, yeah, but if I knew, I feel like it's hindsight's 2020, but at the same time, it's allowed me (10:22) to become who I am today and advocate for women's sexual health overall.So again, (10:31) so after seeing a female gynecologist, we had this full on conversation because I was still having (10:38) pain. So then I got testosterone shots from the testosterone shots. I haven't had pain (10:44) in the last 20 years.However, the weight was still there. So fast forward to (10:54) my forties, um, I ended up meeting a, um, uh, a weight management doctor who worked with me (11:05) for probably about two years on really understanding what PCOS is and what it's doing to my body (11:14) specifically, not just all of the data, because I feel like that is the other thing is a lot of (11:19) times they look at, here's what it looks like. This is what we're told.Um, but every single (11:27) body, especially the female body is so completely different that though I have these symptoms, (11:35) I met somebody, um, in my previous job, who's literally a hundred and I don't know, 118, 120 (11:42) pounds and has PCOS, except if she would have walked into the exact same doctor that I walked (11:48) into, they would have dismissed all of her signs and symptoms specifically because she wasn't (11:54) carrying the weight. Like I was the same thing is for me, I didn't have her shit. I didn't have, (12:02) have excessive hair growth, um, in different places in my body that the typical woman did.
(12:09) Um, so, um, after talking to that doctor, I ended up having, um, going very extreme, um, (12:18) for multiple different reasons. For me, I have grandchildren. I wanted to make sure that I was (12:23) here, not just, um, in body and mind and spirit, but I really wanted to be 110% my best self.(12:34) And I knew that over the last 30 years, there was nothing that I could do. I couldn't starve myself. (12:41) I couldn't eat myself to healthy.I couldn't exercise myself to healthy. I couldn't do any (12:47) of those things. Um, so working with, um, working with the doctor that I worked with, (12:52) um, he suggested that I try Ozempic.And that was again, five years ago. Um, (12:59) I tried it for three months and after the three months we realized that because of my PCOS and (13:07) my hormones, my fat receptors were turned off. I had never in my life ever even heard anything (13:13) like that before.Um, and that was kind of the, Oh shit. I'm not fucking broken. Like I'm not (13:24) broken.This is not, this is not a, um, I did something or it was no, I'm not broken. (13:35) I just need to shift how my body reacts to specific things. Um, so I made the drastic choice (13:45) to get gastric bypass.Um, and when I did that, um, cause he gave me multiple different options (13:51) and he basically said because my fat receptors were turned off, um, that I could work out five, (13:59) six days a week, two to three hours a day. And I would never, um,
(14:06) my body would not respond. And the wildest part is when I think about when I go back and I think (14:12) about the long two, three hour walks that I would do every single day.I never sweat ever, even if (14:19) I did it in the summertime, like, you know what I mean? Like, so it really kind of put a lot of (14:24) those things into perspective for me. Um, so I, I really thought for about a year I made the (14:34) decision. Um, I did sleep therapy, so I learned how to actually get really good sleep.Um, I then (14:41) shifted the healthy eating that I was already doing and actually focused on ensuring that the (14:50) food that I was actually getting was protein first for me. And again, everybody's going to be a little (14:57) bit different in how, how things work in their body. But what we learned for me is that because (15:02) my, because of my metabolism, because my fat receptors, because of all these things, (15:07) this is what I needed to do, um, for me.So we did this for a good year before I made the final (15:14) decision to do gastric bypass. I did the gastric bypass within three months of having surgery.
(15:20) I went for a walk with my daughter, um, out in the bush, like, you know, with, with snow shoes (15:26) on and the whole nine yards, you know, with my grandson.And I was like, Oh my God. And my daughter (15:33) looking at me, she's like, what? I was like, I'm sweating. She's like, mom, like, seriously.I'm (15:37) like, no, like, I don't think he, like, you don't understand. Like I'm actually, I can feel sweat. (15:43) Like I can feel, and I know like for most people they're like, huh? But here's the thing is I never (15:50) actually knew what it meant.Um, a lot of women that I talked to, um, with the work that I do, (16:02) they've all had multiple different experiences, but generally most of them are all come down to (16:07) the exact same thing. But a lot of those experiences I never had at all. My hormones were so completely (16:15) out of whack that I never experienced.I never even experienced the emotional ties to certain (16:21) things because of the high, high level of testosterone that I had in my body, which is so (16:26) wild because I didn't understand that all of it was a correlation because nobody explained it to (16:33) me. Right. Um, and I feel like, um, through that time, um, learning about my body, learning about, (16:45) um, hormones, learning how my body actually responds, especially now, um, five years after (16:56) surgery will now, I think, yeah, five or six years after surgery.Um, I've not only kept the weight (17:02) off, um, but I have an extremely, extremely healthy, not just, um, relationship with food, (17:13) but with my body, which then kind of turns into, um, the work that I do. Um, yeah, it's kind of (17:25) like, like, like I said, like when I think about it, it just, it, it really blows my mind, (17:29) especially talking about it now. Cause I think something else when we are in the thick of things, (17:37) either we feel like we're alone or nobody understands, nobody's listening to me.
(17:44) These are stories that we tell ourselves because I believe society has shamed us (17:54) into staying small and not recognizing, um, that when something is wrong, we know. (18:09) So you know what I mean? Like I had this conversation with somebody the other day, (18:13) cause they're like, how did you know? And I said, here's the funny thing. (18:16) And I know not everybody has children, but I know this, my daughter lives 10 hours away.(18:25) We talk almost every single day when I pick up the phone or she picks up the phone to call me. (18:31) I always know when something is wrong, when something good has happened or something that's (18:37) just a little bit off. Right? So for women, we call it intuition for men.It's a gut feeling. (18:47) It's all the same thing. It's an inner knowing within our bodies.But I, us as women, we have (18:54) been told to turn that aspect of who we are off. And then as somebody who's got PCOS, then you add (19:04) in the mismatch of all of the different hormones. So now you're questioning everything 10 times more, (19:13) right? Wait, is that, am I supposed to have my period now? You know what I mean? Like, (19:20) and, and, and, and it kind of makes me laugh now because now they have apps for this and apps for (19:25) that.I have an app to track my period. I have an app to do this. I have an app.I didn't have that (19:31) option. You know what I mean? Like that, that wasn't an option. You know what I mean? That was
(19:36) like, you know, an extra strong tampon and two pads, like every two hours.That was maybe for two (19:44) months, maybe for three months. And the extreme highs and extreme lows. But I feel like that's (19:52) the thing is that's the internal knowing that something is wrong and not that you're broken, (19:59) but that something isn't aligned with who you are designed and created to be.(20:05) And yeah, like I said, it just, it really blows my mind when I think, (20:10) because after I talked to you the first time I really sat back and I was like, (20:15) Holy crap. Like I, it just, because I think, you know what I mean? Like we, (20:21) we have all of these experiences. We go through them, we experienced them, but from, at least I (20:32) can say for myself, it's always what's next, what's next, what's next, what's next.And there (20:37) comes, especially now that I'm in perimenopause, there is that time that I really am pausing (20:44) to recognize my body, recognizing and noticing things that I think instinctively I always knew.
(20:59) But when you're going through, you just, you just, I'm just doing all the things. I'm just (21:03) going through all the things that I'm going through.Yeah. Yeah. Well, first, I mean, (21:09) thank you for sharing your story because it's, it's amazing.And lately I've been talking to, (21:16) I think even more women with PCOS and they've just had such different presentation of symptoms. (21:25) The one thing I say that is the same is a lot of times is them going to the doctors and getting (21:32) the same experience there, you know, a delay in diagnosis, you know, like, yeah, I feel like the (21:41) experience with, with the doctor visits is probably the common thread, but otherwise, (21:50) you know, the presentation of symptoms is, is so different in so many women. And that's, (21:58) you know, that's why I wanted to have you on as well, because I think people need to hear that.(22:03) And they'll hear the other episodes too. And be like, wow, like, just because this person had (22:07) this, but then that also means just because this person had this doesn't mean that what they did, (22:12) you know, if, if somebody's story is similar to yours, that also doesn't mean that they should (22:18) go out and do everything you did. Right.You know, that's probably not going to work for them.
(22:23) Everybody, their backgrounds, their, you know, their history. I mean, even, even to, I've talked (22:29) about this in other episodes to how you're born, you know, can influence and, and, you know, (22:35) breastfeeding, you know, how long were you breastfed? You know, all of that stuff can affect (22:41) your response to everything, you know, later on.Yeah. Um, the one thing I love too, is, (22:49) is how you did advocate. And I think that's like the, one of the big points here is, you know, (22:55) you, you educated yourself, advocated for yourself.Like you said, you knew something (23:02) was off. And I think that's another thing that I do here among so many women that I talk to is, (23:09) you know, your body. And I mean, I didn't have PCOS, but I had other stuff.I have my own, (23:15) you know, autoimmune health struggles. Yeah. I did.I didn't listen to my body for the longest (23:19) time until I had to. And now I'm like, I wouldn't say I'm definitely not like, (23:25) you could go to the extreme of like a hypochondriac. I'm definitely not.But like, (23:29) I noticed like, Oh, something's wrong with my skin or my period's a little bit different this (23:34) month. Like, you know, I start like thinking, well, what changed? What could be, what could be (23:39) affecting all of that? And I think, and I think those are, those are the most important things.
(23:47) It is definitely something that I have taught my daughter and my son, (23:51) because again, whether he will ever experience it, he will always have somebody in his life who (23:56) experiences it.So that's how I've always brought both my kids up is to not ignore. (24:03) And something that I learned in my, in my training as a sexologist and a sex coach is (24:12) when you feel a feeling or an emotion or something feels off, even if you just have to give yourself (24:21) permission to say, step away, either whether it's in another room, go in your car, like whatever you (24:27) want to do. Um, but notice where that is in your body.And a lot of times we don't know how to do (24:35) that. Um, but I know a great tool that I always ask people is okay. So how does it feel? And a (24:43) lot of times people don't really have the words.Um, but you for say your, your menstrual cycle, (24:48) you're like, well, I just noticed that normally when I'm on my period, I used just a regular (24:53) tampon. But this time I noticed that I had to use, and it, it, it's not even that it lasted (24:58) longer. You know what I mean? So it's noticing the things that we generally ignore.It's noticing (25:06) them. And where in your body are you feeling it? Is, is it tightness in your chest? Do you feel (25:14) something in your neck? Is it your shoulders? Is it your, where in your body are you feeling it?
(25:19) Because I feel like that is something when you go back to saying advocating, (25:24) the one thing that I see over and over top time, when I talk to practitioners, whether it's a (25:30) pelvic floor specialist, a general GP, a menopause specialist, or anything else, the one thing that (25:36) they always say is 60% of women do not actually use the, the proper terminology for their bodies. (25:43) So we are going through a mirrored, well, it's down there.I kind of feel it. It feels kind of (25:52) like, and I, and again, we only know what we know until we learn something better. Right? So that's (26:01) where I, again, when you say advocating, I learned how to talk about my body in a way that was (26:10) respectful to me and that honored my presence on the planet.Because I knew for a fact that if I (26:18) didn't say exactly what I needed, I was not going to get anywhere. Nowhere at all, because it's (26:25) easier. It's easier for them to dismiss you.I didn't understand what they were saying. (26:32) They didn't describe what it was. I don't have an extra 20 minutes to, you know, find Waldo.
(26:39) You know what I mean? In a consultation, right? Like, and that's where that advocating for (26:45) communication and advocating for women's health to truly understand your anatomy, to truly (26:54) understand your body systems. I mean, and again, please, yes. Do not go like all hypochondriac (27:02) because I think sometimes that can create something else.Right. But, but really just (27:07) understanding your body and being able to advocate for that and ask questions. If you don't understand, (27:15) find somebody and don't just chat GBT and Google.You know what I mean? Like those are great tools, (27:20) but you know, like, you know what I mean? Like there's coaches out there. There are professionals (27:24) out there who this is what they do for a living. So they can, if not guide you, they can at least (27:30) give you the answers to the questions that you're looking for.Yeah. There's also studies. I mean, (27:36) even like studies for things, you know, like you said, because I'm getting so accessible now, (27:41) you know, so see what's happening, see what's going on and see what's working for, you know, (27:45) for some women.Again, it may not be your exact presentation, but like just educating yourself on (27:50) some of what's, what's going on in the world of PCOS is another way to be informed when you go into (27:56) those appointments. And I think too, the other, the other thing with that too, and I don't know
(28:02) if you were told this then at some point, because I know I've, I've heard this from other women, (28:06) especially ones that, you know, that have the, the infrequent, you know, periods is a doctor will say (28:12) it's normal. They're like, Oh, well, you really don't need to have a period to, you know, to get (28:17) pregnant or whatever.And they just say, yes. Oh my God. Okay.Listen, if I could sit back and maybe (28:27) that's what I might do. I might actually sit back and just write out just even a few of some of the (28:33) things that doctors and, or professionals have said to me because yeah, that's, and then I go back to (28:39) my education and I'm like, what kind of, I'm like, where did you learn? Like that is so, (28:45) you know what I mean? So then that is where that loop comes in. I think I'm going crazy (28:49) because you know that you still need to, in order to have, because again, hello, I got pregnant (28:57) twice, literally twice.And people kept saying, how, if you didn't have a period and I'm like, (29:06) okay. So then if you, you know, then you kind of, you're going through all of these things (29:11) in your head and then doctors like, well, when was your last period? I don't know. (29:16) I don't remember.I can't remember. Like, no, I know it's the things that they say. Yeah.The (29:26) things that they say. And my whole thing now is if you can't give me the answers that I'm looking (29:34) for, are you willing, are you willing to send me to somebody who can? And I found that a practitioner (29:47) who, and I don't want to say loves what they do, but really respects (29:59) humanity in the work that they do is willing to admit when they don't have the answers and will
(30:04) send you to somebody else. That's something that is true in my experience.You know what I mean? (30:15) You don't have to know everything. I don't know everything. But what I do know is this, (30:21) what I don't know, I'm going to send you to somebody who does instead of dismissing you.(30:28) Yeah. Yeah. Right.Well, yeah. And I think we talked about it when we first talked too, (30:34) about how specialized, hyper-specialized the healthcare system is. Yes.And so yes, then (30:40) maybe they do send you somewhere else, but then there still might be some pieces (30:45) missing there because they're still not probably looking at the whole picture. (30:53) If there's one message I hope you take away from today's episode, it's this, you are not broken, (30:59) not your hormones, not your body, not your desire. Nothing about you is something that (31:04) needs to be fixed.What you've been missing is understanding, understanding your body, (31:09) understanding your patterns, understanding how your hormones, your nervous system, (31:13) and your experiences have shaped the way you feel. And when you start to understand, (31:18) everything begins to shift. I loved what Tammy Lynn shared about this being a journey,
(31:24) not something to rush, not something to hack, but something to actually experience.Because (31:29) when you stop trying to force your body into someone else's version of health and start (31:33) learning what your body needs, that's where confidence comes from. And that's where trust (31:38) comes from. And honestly, that's where true intimacy begins.So maybe your next step isn't (31:43) doing more. Maybe it's pausing, getting curious, and actually listening to what your body has (31:48) been trying to tell you all along. Remember, your body isn't something to fight.It's something to (31:54) reconnect with. If you loved this episode, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss what's coming (31:58) up next. Share this with someone who needs to hear that they are not broken and leave a review (32:04) so more women can find these conversations.And as always, if you're ready to go deeper into (32:09) understanding your body, your hormones, and your relationship with food and yourself, (32:13) you can find all the ways to work with me in the show notes. I'm sending you so much love, (32:18) and I'll see you on the next episode of PCOS Unfiltered. Nourish. Heal. Thrive.