In this deeply moving and layered conversation, Lindsie sits down for part 2 with cookbook author and autoimmune advocate Annie Toro Lopez to explore what happens when a diagnosis reshapes your identity, and how you rebuild from there. Annie shares her journey navigating lupus (SLE), reaching a negative ANA after 20 years, and later being diagnosed with celiac disease following profound personal grief. From agoraphobia in her early marriage to rebuilding her life through food, community, and mindset work, Annie’s story is not about toxic positivity — it’s about grounded resilience. This episode explores identity loss, trauma, grief, nervous system survival, medical dismissal, and the power of community. Annie reminds us that healing isn’t a quick fix — it’s layered, nonlinear, and deeply personal. If you've ever felt like your diagnosis stole your identity, this conversation will meet you with compassion and hope.
If you’re feeling alone in your diagnosis, ask yourself:
This episode is a reminder that healing is messy, nonlinear, and deeply human — and still possible.
(0:00 - 34:30) Later, you know having lupus and again flipping the script, right? It was just like I can't If I continue to find myself by how sick I am. I'll always I won't be anything else Hey friends, welcome back. I'm Lindsie and today's episode is one of those conversations that stays with you because it's about more than a diagnosis It's about identity grief resilience and what it looks like to rebuild your life one choice at a time My guest today is Annie Toro Lopez a cookbook author Chronic illness advocate and a powerful voice in the celiac and autoimmune community And he was diagnosed with lupus SLE in her 20s and after years of navigating autoimmune challenges She reached a milestone. Many people don't even know is possible and negative ANA after 20 years Then in 2023 after the heartbreaking loss of her sister and her best friend Annie was diagnosed with celiac disease and she transformed that season into something that now supports thousands of people Her second cookbook simply gluten-free Real ingredients for everyday life is all about approachable nourishing recipes that help you reclaim confidence and joy in the kitchen Even when food feels complicated In this episode Annie and I talk about what it's like to be dismissed and how the right provider can change everything the emotional reality of autoimmune illness motherhood and nervous system survival the role of trauma therapy and mindset and healing how a diagnosis can shake your identity and how to rebuild it and Why community might be one of the most underrated treatments we have This conversation includes discussion of trauma and grief. So please take care of yourself as you listen And just as a reminder the content shared on PCOS unfiltered is for informational and educational purposes only The views and opinions expressed by the hosts and guests are not intended to serve as medical advice Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your diet exercise or treatment plan The information shared is based on personal experience and expert interviews and is not a substitute for professional medical guidance If you've ever felt like your diagnosis stole your identity this one is for you, here's my conversation with Annie Toro Lopez.
One of the reasons it's taken me so long to talk about this is Because I've never wanted to come from a place of victim blaming I don't ever want people to feel like well if I can't do that, there's something wrong with me Yeah, because that is not the case It's a tough disease there all the all of our autoimmune diseases are you know, and of course they affect again women more than men like Tells us that we you know, the messages that we get and the way that we talk to ourselves. I mean, you know That's a really I mean, I think that's really what I've thought about so much is people tell me a lot that you know Oh, you're so resilient. You're so resilient, right? And I think people throw that word around a lot and and it's an important word I don't I'm not it is an important word But what I really had to do then was dig deep right and think well, what does that even mean? Like what does that look like on a day-to-day basis to be resilient like resilience just sort of this this like umbrella thing, right? But but what have I done that? What does that even mean? And and and I remember, you know, I've had I have had You know after after after being sexually abused and then and then you know, I moved I got married I went to I went to college to get the MRS because that's what you went for in my day And so I and I did and I got married and I moved to San Diego 20 years old And I was a gore phobic. I lived in my apartment. I was too afraid to leave I would lie to my husband to tell him that I left because I was so ashamed Like just so like I didn't have words like anxiety I didn't have I didn't even have those words and that at that time or Panic or any of that and I didn't understand why like why am I going out and why I'm in San Diego, right? Oh my god, like So much.
Yeah, there's so much to do and yeah Right. Yeah, I didn't leave my apartment. I would get my mail and I would have a panic attack and I Remember like I remember like look I would remember being in the apartment and like looking down at the at the cat next door and And you know, like really literally telling myself like you either need to get out of here. You need to you need to dig deep Figure it out how to get out of here and go find a job for yourself Or you need to go and check yourself into the nearest Hospital Because you're not fun This is you know, and I remember like again that conversation just like I had with my immune system, right? I really like that that literal conversation. So I went out. I don't know if you're familiar with San Diego I went to Seaport Village because it was so beautiful and I thought I could I could do this and there's this really cool coffee shop and And bookstore before those were a thing called upstart crow And I was like, I want to work at upstart crow So I filled out an application there and I did like the general application for you know, and all the thing out all that so I got a call and and you know for us, which is one of the general shops in the in the mall, right and I got there and it was a it was a clown shop and I hate clowns like when I was four my parents had to take me out of the Barnum and Bailey circus because I Was throwing a screaming fit because it was so afraid of the clowns So I was like, this is dark humor like this is the universe just laughing at me Finally got out of my house into a clown shop But a few days later I got a call from Walden books and So I was like, oh, yes that I'll do I my degree is in English Yeah, right. So I was like, oh that I can do so anyway eventually became a manager for Walden books I know he wasn't stuck in the clown shop But But it was you know, but that really was about Talking myself through it right the voice in your head and like changing that voice in your head from you know The things that stop you and the things that terrify you and that come from inside That of course I didn't understand at all. Like I didn't understand I Was living in a place where I felt unsafe It was it was I would we moved into an apartment that was disputed gang disputed gang Territory. Oh my gosh So it was legitimately not safe Like it wasn't just like I was making it up in my head But then at the same time like I still couldn't I was paralyzed me so and Then later, you know having lupus and again flip in the script, right? It was just like I can't If I continue to find myself by how sick I am. I'll always I won't be anything else Exactly. Yeah That was that was a huge, you know, and then later having celiac, you know when I found out that I had celiac so in the spring of 2023 um, I was in first well, I had I had I was in first place in an international cooking competition hosted by Chef Carla Hall and then to benefit the James Beard Foundation and I was in first place in my in my group. I'm not in the whole competition because it was you know, they would do this and My I my sis my best friend died from pancreatic cancer one of my lifelong friends that I'd known since I was 13 and Then six days later. My sister died from A fall and Three weeks later and I was I was I was scheduled for a endoscopy To figure out what the heck was going. I was so sick I was so so so sick and to figure out because I've been off the couch and like and I'm not exaggerating when I say it like two years it was Ridiculously, uh And I'd had it longer but by this time I was like I must have I mean I was just I was not in good shape, so I I had a colonoscopy I had an endoscopy scheduled and I had to call and reschedule because my sister was dying like I was at You know, we're hospice so When I got back obviously then eventually I had that done and was diagnosed with celiac and I'm a food writer so It was like losing my whole identity I was so It was a very dark time it was so hard because I was already grieving Right, and I had to I couldn't continue with the competition Like I had all my menu planned I had all the things and then I had to like purge my kitchen like I had to get rid of everything You know all my cookie cutters from holidays with my kids I threw those away and it's I I regret that but I was just my frame of mind at that point and I you know Later I was like, I guess I could have given them to my daughter. I gave her a lot of stuff She just moved into her apartment. So like she got she got all the things so
But yeah, and I remember You know but I had to I got rid of everything and I had to I cried when I got rid of my Cascatelli and if you're a fan of Dan Pashman and the spork bowl, which is my favorite Podcast the spork bowl is a food podcast. He says it's not for foodies. It's for eaters little plug for the sport folder But He he invented a new pasta shape. It was so cool and he did it covered the whole thing and that was so much fun and My daughter got it for me for Christmas and it was just so sweet She knew it's like my favorite podcast and all the things and so it really meant a lot to me And I had to get rid of it. I had to I gave it to my daughter, of course, but still I was like No It was really hard and part of our You know part of our part of what we do like my husband and I for like fun is We go try a new restaurants and we go to like really like the little hole in the walls And yeah, they always say like yours my superpower is finding locally owned Really great food, right when we travel. Yeah, so it was it was really Identity loosening for me Yeah, yeah, I mean that's It also I think, you know demonstrates like I said, I feel like there's so much that our listeners can relate to it's just the journey Because you know, we live in such a world where we want the quick fix, but it just does not work like that and so, you know, yes you went through a really hard time in a lot of ways and You know now you've had to readjust but it's a journey. It's a marathon not a sprint, you know But but it's true. There is not going to be the instant instant fix, you know So whether whether it's, you know working with your mind like you, you know, like you did and the visualization part I mean, I've had a number of other things that people can use on, you know on my podcast So help them along that and and you also mentioned how you use that to complement what you were doing You know with traditional medicine you still had your doctor and your doctor was open to you using these other methods to also complement what they were doing and I Think that's you know, that's amazing as well Yeah, yeah, I was lucky that way. I think she's I really did lucky into her like that was really yeah, very very fortunate She was such a such an incredible always and we had her like we She was my doctor for 25 years and we had our babies together like our babies were the same age So we were both It was just it was a journey together and I I appreciate her for that a lot. I think you know when I After I found out I had lupus, I mean not lupus after I found out I had celiac and I had lost my people like my friend was an RN. So she would have been the person that I would have called and said hey, like What's going on? Right? Yeah, and Then my sister was my sister, okay, so I really had lost my people and I found myself very lonely and You know, there's a loneliness epidemic of course, right we're in a loneliness epidemic that began before the pandemic but has gotten worse and now of course with the With the craziness, it's even worse. Yeah. Yeah, so so it's
So I I joined a celiac group on Facebook and I they were you know, that was really it was helpful but someone in that group had said Had suggested a group that she thought I might like for women over 50 So I joined that group and that was really good because you know I'm over 50 and and it it's a different world It really is and when you're raising your kids or you're it's just different And so that was really nice too. That was really cool, but it still was like not not Connection not like, you know person to person or in person. I guess that's what I'm exactly connection and so I Started my own group. I started At first it was sort of an offshoot of that group but it's that group was formed by a very well-known organization that supports people over 50 And and we they wanted us to become so once they so that our group caught on I Was very visible. I I Because I have celiac I started just I would make I would make Events I would schedule events through the group in Facebook which grew to like 150 people like overnight like overnight Literally and I'm like a lot of people need this and so I would Create it an event in a place where I knew that I could like actually have something to as a celiac So I would call ahead or whatever and here in Colorado. There's actually a lot of options, but um and some of them there would just be a couple of people and I just kept doing it and I we chose I chose one day a week and We go all different places at all different times, but it this day stays the same and At first it might have just been a few now. We have 12 to 15 people regularly we always laugh that we've never had the same group twice because sometimes we're having new people or you know and and we meet every week and I set it up for every week instead of once a month because To alleviate loneliness if we did it once a month if you miss one You don't like it's eight weeks before you see get to connect so we've been now it's together for two years and It's just it's such a great group. And I at first I was doing it all myself But now I have I have three other admin because it yeah So now we have more than 500 women And it's growing all the time. And so we're the Denver area Women's Network if you're in the Denver area at dawn DAW n on Facebook and Yeah, join us. We're like we're fun and we were genderless. We don't have You know, we all we pretty much I will say we mostly politically aligned, but we it's that's it's it's a friendship group It's it's to you know And a lot of us so many of us are women who've been giving all our lives right? Well, we all as women give but You know nurses and teachers and you know people who are who are Social workers and therapists and people who are giving people and so it's really a place for us We say it's a place for us to come in, you know refill So we all just we just get together and talk about whatever and it's nice It's yeah, it gets it gets big like we get 12 to 15 is a lot But it's getting where we have a harder time like finding a place to me Yeah, yeah, yeah the coffee shops we we take them over so yeah Yeah, and I mean I'm in and that kind of I feel like talks, you know, like you mentioned the victim You know hood mentality too because I'm in a few PCOS groups myself And I get frustrated sometimes because you see a lot of that, you know, and then one person, you know posts, you know This diagnosis sucks and everything sucks and you know My relationship with my you know partner is bad, you know, whatever it is and then everybody else just feeds off of that That's true and fortunate because that's not helping Helping their diagnosis helping their healing helping, you know, mentally physically all of it Absolutely, so I mean what you're doing with that is is amazing it's just giving them that outlet to you know, whether it is to talk about their diagnosis or just Just to know that they have the women there and they can still talk about whatever they want and hang out Yeah Exactly.
I mean and I think that you know, we've talked about to just you need the energy you know, you can't pour from an empty vessel right is what we say and and and You've got to have that refill place. You've got to have and so many of us don't like it's and that was for me where it was like I just had to create my own like I Needed that and I didn't know how to get it any other way and I tried different things. Like I tried going to Other groups and but there was always the agenda gets in the way and Not that there's anything wrong with like agenda groups Like, you know, there's some great groups out there rotary and you know things that do good for other people and those are important But this was a place that doesn't and we do we adopt a family at Christmas and we do You know, so we and we do food drives and that kind of stuff but not but that's not like our that's not what we're You know, we don't exist as a philanthropic group But we do philanthropic things. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's yeah, that's great. Yeah. Yeah Uh, I want to talk to you because you know, you mentioned about you know, when you're celiac diagnosis, which again I wasn't diagnosed at the time, but I did end up testing I had some genetic testing because I'd already eliminated gluten So I you know, I'm more than likely was was could have been diagnosed with celiac probably at the time Like, you know, sorry, like I said our story is just But you know, you kind of touched on your identity, you know and kind of how that Changed along with it. And I think that's super important to talk about too because Yes, like for me it was the same, you know same thing I Eliminated gluten had no problem doing that which I understand a lot of people can't But felt better felt amazing then that's still there's still always something right like, you know, I end up having Oatmeal and that was causing me to follow up just like gluten did you know? That could still act like that But it's really propelled me forward, I mean, it's it's really between the lupus and the celiac, you know, well, I said gluten celiac diagnosis, but It's it's why I do what I do today, you know as well and Like I I cook I cook everything now, but I love it. I didn't really cook much food for her I actually just started making gluten-free sourdough bread. Oh Then yeah, that's been very it's a new hobby now Yeah, I think I would open like people really enjoy that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna make like the crackers and the other things Yeah You'll have all the end of pancakes that makes you yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it just shows, you know Okay, so we were handed, you know this diagnosis, but you still you know, you make lemonade out of lemons, right? Like People around you, right, yeah, you know and and it's hard it is it can be it can be very hard But it also, you know, it takes that you have to talk yourself through it sometimes Yeah and and like even what we like we had a party to go to write a holiday party and Sometimes I just don't have the spoons, you know, like it's it's just And Sometimes I'll cancel things. I'm like and and my friends understand and I'll just straight-up say like I don't know the spoons for this You know, but we had a holiday party and it wasn't optional pressed and and I you know, I and my husband's like are you okay, you know, cuz I was like I just don't feel good. I'm tired and my body aches and so I just kind of went away for a little while and and then he's like How are you doing? And I was like, I talked myself through it and it's fine.
Like I'll I'll show up I'll have a great time I love these people like, you know, I just I I really focused on those sorts of things instead of how bad I felt You know, and yeah, and you know, and it's it's it's not always easy, but it's always worth it, you know Yeah, and and far as far as like identity. I mean, that's like I think I I I understand what you're saying because I think you know and as again as a food writer like I was I I Had I had published a cookbook My first cookbook was done through a grant and I did it it's a southern Colorado green chili cookbook, so My husband is indigenous native. So green chili is a really really big part of his culture. And so it was sort of a way to Honor that and so I went down to southern Colorado and there's a very large population of indigenous Native people in southern Colorado and and of course northern, New Mexico who would argue that they have the best green chili, but they're wrong so we So I went and did I as a way to like gather stories and recipes from that culture and so I published It's called orphan those happy hearts and it's a green chili cookbook with stories So I knew I wanted to publish another cookbook and and I you know I come from a food background and food writing so It kind of you know, it's like well, I guess that's what I need to do Right, and so what I realized was when I went out and looked and was doing research for the cookbook I realized that 90% of gluten-free cookbooks are for baking And what I really found was that people were like, I don't know how to feed myself. That's where I was I was like Because I was like, I can't have oatmeal same cried over a bowl of oatmeal one day just like really cry I was just like, oh really like really and I So I I Wrote another cookbook. I and it's food. It's not baking.
I was a middle school teacher. So I taught middle school literacy and social studies For about 10 years and what really really like hurt me was when I would hear parents say my 14 year old or my 17 year old or my Six year old was just diagnosed with celiac and I don't know how to feed them and feed my family and not have to make two meals and not have to and what I realized that what really brought me out of my grief and my kind of almost I guess despondency was Gratitude Because I realized that I can handle like I handle food I'm a I'm a cook I'm a I'm a home chef I'm a food writer. I can handle food and a lot of people don't know how to cook Yeah, so That was so so this is my I did write a cookbook. Yeah Yeah Thank you, yeah, my cover designer is amazing so and this is the interiors that you can see Wow and Let's see. And I have I did I did all of I did appetizers and Sauces so appetizers salads sauces seasonings sides entrees and sweets Wow Everything yeah, everything you need and so like here's like one of my It's so good. That's my That's one of my daughters You know, yes, you've got a recipe for ketchup. Oh, yeah. Yeah Yeah, because you know and and well, you know Not that you can't find those things gluten-free because because you can but it is sometimes a search and it's sometimes just nice to have things fresh so yeah, and and So my green chili my green chili recipe is in here and I also have a recipe here for chicken enchiladas And I just want you to know for any of your Schitt's Creek fans that it doesn't to fold in the cheese And if you love Schitt's Creek you'll get that we still my We laugh about that in our family. So anyway, but it's um, you know ribs There's a recipe for like we don't need food that you can feed your family and that everybody will love No one will even Yeah, and you can there's appetizers to take to the friend's house for the football game Those were the things that I really found that people Were lacking, you know So it's been very well received, you know marketing is not my favorite thing in the world to do Although I love doing this this this doesn't feel like marketing this this to me is just, you know connecting with people and but you know, it's it's um But I did we did a book tour and it was super fun. So we went when Yeah, it was awesome. It was amazing. It wore me out though. Speaking of not having the spoons man Back and I was like, I I slept for days. I was I was worn out. Yeah, we travel in our fifth wheel It's a lot easier. Yeah, cuz then I have my own kitchen Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's whenever whenever we travel like if we can if especially if we're at a place for a while we're definitely we get a place with a kitchen, you know, so whether it's an Airbnb or like a residence in or you know, yeah, we have a motor home ourselves and Yeah, we did it. We did a cross-country trip last year. Oh, yeah This is just you know become who I am. So I was like a mad woman in the kitchen for like two almost three days probably and I prepped all kinds of stuff and I made I made a lasagna. I made a meatloaf I made chili and then I froze individual packages and we had we didn't have to eat out hardly at all You know, I knew oh, yeah. Yeah, I packaged them individually Yeah, yeah, so Did it take extra effort yes, but I know you know I've learned to prioritize my health and exactly and I'm blessed because I have a husband that's fully supports all that too You know, he's kind of naturally gluten-free now, too My family and my friends when I hear about people who are like, you know People shame them or oh my god, like slip in gluten or something like that How crazy is that like why how did you do that to to someone and and you know or oh It's not that big of a deal or you're just like they don't realize you know you you can have some and It's it's that's I feel so fortunate because I don't have that in my life You know my my closest friend who I met through my dawn group She's a registered dietitian and a therapist so she's like she gets it like yeah No problem, you know and my daughter like they just they protect me, you know They don't they would never like try to sabotage or yeah They write my husband when he takes my car and if he eats into my car and sometimes he does He wipes it all down. Yeah, you know, so yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and I feel fortunate. Yeah, I feel yeah Yeah. Yeah. Well, this was an amazing conversation And so much I think yeah, I think yeah opportunity good information I
Yeah, I'm glad I'm glad I appreciate it I and again, I you know I I just want I just want people to you know Know that there's more hope than I think that the medical community hands them, you know Like yeah, it it was only recently really that I had it. I I've had a couple of doctors I'm an alternative practitioners, of course, but like medical doctors So, you know, I finally had a cardiologist when I told her that I reversed my lupus. She just looked at me and she said congratulations Like not like no you didn't it's just you know, you you you know It's it'll be back or you know, that doesn't happen or you really can't or whatever. She just said Good for you. Yeah. Yeah, and I appreciated that. Yeah. Yeah, and we definitely need more practitioners Sure So you mentioned your cookbook how are I'll link everything in the show notes too, but Somebody can find you and connect with you. So actually, um, I we are this close to having I have any Toro Lopez calm and That will be that will have my podcast interviews. It will have you know linked in my cookbook Right now you can get it through you can get it anywhere books are sold So if you go to your bookstore and you ask, you know, they're There might be other things close to the title So it's simply gluten-free real ingredients for everyday life and all and then also the publisher is high prairie press So you can go to high prairie press org and order it there But soon you can just go to any Toro Lopez calm and you'll be able to get it there and then also you'll You can access my I write for it with substack So like I tell that story about my friend being shot and killed when I was 11 And I tell the store some of the stories. I haven't been super active there lately, but But it was not a book tour so Yeah Yeah, so you'll be able to take out all of that there you'll be able to book me for a podcast to book me for live events To speak. So yeah, that'll all be right there Love it. Love it. Thank you so much Lindsie.
This was so nice. Yeah, I really appreciate it and I hope Take some hope away from it Yeah Wow this conversation with Annie was so meaningful because it held the full picture the medical side the emotional side and the human side Here are a few takeaways. I hope you carry with you You are not too much for needing answers being persistent about your symptoms is not being dramatic. It's being wise Healing is really one thing Any story is a reminder that it can be medical care plus mindset plus nervous system work plus support plus time Diagnosis can feel like it steals your identity But it can also become the beginning of a new relationship with yourself one rooted in worth agency and possibility and Community matters loneliness keeps people stuck connection helps people move Annie also shared something. I really loved she didn't just wish for community She built it and if you're listening thinking I don't have my people right now Let that be your commission to start small one message one meetup one safe person If you want to connect with Annie I'm going to link everything in the show notes her cookbook simply gluten-free real ingredients for everyday life And her website Annie Toro Lopez calm She mentioned it's bought launching soon with links for booking podcast interviews and more She also writes on sub stack and will include that too And if this episode encouraged you the best way to support the show is to leave a rating and a review Ensure it was someone who needs hope that healing is still possible Even if it's messy and nonlinear Thank you for being here. I'm sending you so much love and I'll see you in the next episode of PCOS Unfiltered: Nourish, Heal, Thrive.