In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Lindsie sits down with Dr. Robb Kelly, PhD—world-renowned addiction expert and recovered alcoholic—to explore what it really means to heal at the root. Dr. Robb shares his extraordinary personal journey from childhood trauma and homelessness to becoming a global leader in addiction recovery and brain-based healing. Together, they unpack why willpower alone doesn’t work, how unresolved trauma lives in the subconscious mind, and why behaviors like addiction, emotional eating, anxiety, and self-sabotage are not character flaws—but survival responses. This episode goes far beyond addiction. It’s about understanding the nervous system, reshaping internal dialogue, and learning how the brain can be retrained to create lasting change. If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns you “know better” than but can’t seem to break, this conversation will shift how you see yourself—and what’s possible.
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Dr. Robb is generously offering a limited number of signed copies of his book, free of charge. To receive one, reach out directly or follow the instructions linked in the show notes. After reading, he asks only that you pass it along to someone else who may need it. Contact me or email janet@robbkelly.com and mention the episode.
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(0:00 - 0:18) I don't believe all these years what mum was telling me, can you come over, I want to see you and I've got something to show you. So we're surrounded by a lot of people as you can imagine, so within like an hour or two we're on a plane back to the UK. We stayed in an overnight in a hotel around the corner from her house.
(0:19 - 1:03) We walk around the next morning, I'm so nervous, I'm crying, it's not a big walk. Her wife's holding me up, I'm stepping up to her door, I said to Janet, I can't do this, I can't do this, she'll make me upset today and I couldn't knock on the door but she opened the door unexpectedly and Lindsie, we hugged, we cried, it felt like an hour, it was probably a minute and she took me, without any words, she took me by my hand and she walked me into her living room and she handed me my three-month-old granddaughter, right there and then and she was doing the right thing Lindsie. I knew that girl is my lead therapist in my Manchester office today.
(1:06 - 2:18) Hey friend, welcome back. I'm Lindsie and today's conversation is one I really want you to lean into because it's not just about fixing a behavior, it's about understanding what's underneath it. Today, I'm joined by Dr. Robb Kelly, PhD, a world-renowned addiction expert who's known for one core belief, treat the problem, not the symptoms. Robb has spent decades working with addicts and alcoholics across the world and what makes his work especially powerful is that it's not just professional, it's personal. He's a recovered alcoholic himself and he shares parts of his story in this episode that are raw, real and honestly unforgettable and even if you're thinking addiction doesn't apply to me, I want you to keep listening because we also talk about things like the subconscious mind and why willpower isn't enough, how trauma gets stored and shows up as patterns you can't seem to break, the link between addiction and food, emotional eating and self-sabotage and simple daily practices you can start using right now to begin shifting your internal dialogue. As always, the content shared on PCOS Unfiltered is for informational and educational purposes only.
(2:18 - 5:50) The views and opinions expressed by the hosts and guests are not intended to serve as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your diet, exercise or treatment plan. The information shared is based on personal experience and expert interviews and is not a substitute for professional medical guidance. This conversation is about healing at the root so you can stop living in the same loop and finally feel free. All right, let's get into it with Dr. Rob Kelly. Welcome to Dr. Robb Kelly. Super excited for this one. Yeah, this is going to be the best one yet. Great energy. I love it. So let's just start off. I mean, what do you do? Why do you do it? What got you here? So hey guys, my name is Dr. Rob Kelly. I specialize in addiction and everything to do with sight, depression. So we have four or five offices around the world and we specialize, we used to do alcohol and addiction only, but what we found is the program we created also cures, it's the right word I'm using guys, childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, PTSD. We're just getting into Alzheimer's right now, which we've seen a fantastic result from. So anything to do with the change of mind or mood that you're in or building entrepreneurs, that's what we do. We do a program for three months daily and most of it's telehealth. Why do I do it? Well, I suffered badly from alcoholism when I took my first drink at the age of nine. It didn't come to fruition until I was about 23, 24 and it took everything away from me. It took children, it took babies, it took wife, cars, houses, business, medical license. It took everything from me and eventually ended up homeless. So after your siblings have thrown you out, mom and dad threw me out, friends, acquaintances, and they took me to the streets. And I remember the first night on the streets, it was cold, it was rainy. I was sat in a little bus shelter. I had my vodka with me, so everything was good. But I did think to myself, where did that all go wrong? Because it crept up sneakily and the violence and everything that goes with deep-rooted alcoholism. And I swore to myself that if I ever got off the streets, I'm going to spend the rest of my life studying the brain to find out what this disease called alcoholism is. And that's what we've done. We're kind of the leading researchers right now on all of the above. And I have one of their minds that I'm either going to do something to be the best in the world or I'm not going to touch it. And this is the thing committed to me that the more families we can help, the more lives we can save. That's my payment right now, even though obviously we run multi-businesses. But the reason why I get up every morning is can we save a life today? That's all. It's like this podcast. I'm not going to sell anything, guys. I'm not going to do any of that. If Lindsay and I could save a life today, I'd pay it in full, man. I really would. And that's kind of a life today.
(5:51 - 7:34) Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's why I do this. I mean, I see the numbers for listeners and everything, but to me, if it's just one person that I'm affecting, that I'm opening their mind to start a healing journey into what is actually possible, that's why I do it. Yeah. So yeah, let's talk a little bit more about kind of your methods a little bit, your background a little bit more, you know, all that stuff. I grew up on the projects guys, which in England, they're called council estates, low income government pays 80% of the rent for you. Very rough. So I learned how to fight at an early age. Lots of violence on what we call a state. I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of people live there, but yeah, it was kind of no money around, but plenty of love. Went through a lot of childhood trauma. I didn't know I had until many, many, many years. And to some extent, three, four years ago, when I finally discovered something that my subconscious memory had blocked off for me to save me going insane. And I cleared all that up. Homeless at 24. Like I say, parents cut me off. They want anything to do with me. And it was like being in hell. I was abandoned. I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I embarrassed my family so many times. I embarrassed my two little girls so many times. I just wanted to die, which I did twice on the streets. I died twice in Manchester. And the guys that brought me back to life, I hated those guys for that because I didn't want to live.
(7:34 - 9:19) I tell people I didn't actually go to hell when I was on the streets, but I could sure see from where I was. There's no doubt about that. And the suicide attempts and stuff like that. So it's a personal journey for me. I've been doing this for roughly 30 years, 20 in America to the highest standard. Again, all or nothing. And you get to a place with yourself, I think, where two things happen. One, I have enough. I don't mean money. I mean, obviously, I run businesses, but the money's there. But I have enough. And not a lot of people can say that. I say that to rich people. I work with movie stars and stuff like that. And I say to them all the time, I've got something you haven't gotten. They go, well, I've got something and that is enough. And they start crying. It's like, wow. And the other thing is I've stopped giving, I've stopped caring what people think about me, you know, and to actually do that. I don't care what he says. We do because it hits a part where the childhood trauma picks up, the abandonment, the shame, remorse, the guilt, the beatings, the words, whatever your childhood trauma is. And everybody has childhood trauma, by the way. And it also affects how we live and work and breathe today, our intimacy and all that stuff. It affects that without you even knowing. You know, people go through life, I can't keep a job, I can't keep a girlfriend. There's a reason for that, guys. I'm not happy, I'm getting news, nothing satisfies me. There's a reason for that. Unless you go back and tell them, oh, we have to go and discover, uncover and discard of every childhood memory. So we uncover what it's about.
(9:19 - 10:15) We discover exactly what caused it and we discard of that stuff. And once you get to that point in life, which for me, again, as it was only three years ago, I'm at peace. And I want this peace for everybody. You know, I could retire today and never work again, but I want this to happen to everybody. I want things like, I've got my children back. I want that to happen for everybody for 30 years. I want to tell everybody who's suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, you are geniuses. And once we reset that pathways and brain, you can literally do anything you want to do. I preach and believe to that. I'm proving. Yeah. So out of, you know, your journey there that you mentioned, was there one moment, like that was your kind of turnaround, you know, your aha moment that, that changed everything.
(10:16 - 10:40) With me, it's, it's, it kind of more than aha moment because there were two people out of two defects in my life. So it's early hours of the morning, Sunday night, early Monday morning. And I'm on the streets. I'm not shaved. I've not bathed. I've not eaten until a week or something. I'm drinking alcohol only. And it's pouring down. I'm in the middle of nowhere.
(10:40 - 11:38) There's only factories and office blocks where I am, part of Manchester. And I dropped down to my hands and knees and it was going on 14, 15 months. I've been homeless. I started to cry like a baby. Now the interesting fact here is I wasn't crying because I'd lost my wife, my kids, my houses. No, I was crying because the first time in my life, I realized I can't stop drinking and I was sobbing. And as an atheist, I looked up to the sky and I said this, if there's a God up there, I can't do this on my own anymore. And about 30 seconds later, this guy walked around the corner, middle of nowhere, runs up to me, little Bible in his hand. He says, can I help you? Okay. So he took me back to his house. His name was Derek. And I bathed for the first time in a year or so. I don't know. I got real food. I was in dry clothes.
(11:38 - 12:11) And he said, Robb, you can stay for as long as you want. We're going to get you back on your feet. But one condition, you have to come to these AA meetings with me. Well, I've been there for years. It didn't do anything for me. But he categorically told me, I can't have you drinking in the house, I'm a recovering alcoholic, you've got to come. So I went to the next meeting, what's the next bit? Met Derek on Monday, went to the meeting on Tuesday, I think. When I got there, usual stuff. And then this guy, for about 20 minutes, he said, my name's John, I'm a recovered alcoholic.
(12:13 - 12:22) And I looked at Derek, I said, what did he just say? He said he's recovered. I'm like, I'm going to punch that guy after this, because I've lost everything. You can't recover from this.
(12:23 - 12:31) So, but he made sense, Lindsie, when he was talking. After the meeting, I went over to him. And I said, hey, John, my name's Robb, will you sponsor me? And he went, no.
(12:33 - 13:31) I was like, and just before the earth swallowed me up, he said, I'll be your spiritual advisor for a period of 12 weeks. So every Wednesday, I'd leave Derek's at six, I'd get to his apartment for seven, I'd stay till eight, and then walk on from there. Every Wednesday, 12 weeks. Couldn't go up to his apartment at two minutes to seven, it has to be dead on seven. Halfway through conversations, mid-conversation, one minute to eight, he'd stand up, he'd walk me to the door, he'd bid me a goodnight, toss it up behind me. I thought I was something that was weird. Did it for 12 weeks. The last day I was there, he told me things would change. I was so educated about what I was going through, and what the mindless people were doing. We studied art, we studied philosophy, we studied human behavior. Most of the stuff I use today still in my practices. So when I come home the next day, my life changed. Derek come over and he said, hey, there's a job sweep in the floor at the factory. There's a guy just resigned, do you want a part-time job? And I'm like, oh my God, yes. So it turned into a full-time job.
(13:31 - 13:40) I'm up, everyone laughing, and things are amazing. I'm working with people from AA, and they seem to be getting well, they're happy. So after two weeks, I got my first payback.
(13:41 - 18:02) And I run to the guard, and I bought him a little teddy bear and a card. And I wrote on the card, thank you to John for introducing me to the guard, because he, David O. Hayes, took the compulsory drink away. And then I'm almost running back to his apartment, because I can't wait to tell him what's happened in the last two weeks. Everything he told me was coming true, apart from the traveling to a distant country. And when I got there, knocking on the door, the next person looked a bit just here, and I'm like, this is weird. So the woman on the right-hand side came out, and she says, can I help you, love? I said, yeah, where's John? He's like, is he out? And she said, John? John who? I said, John, your neighbor. He went, oh, work nighttime, that's fine. Went around to the left-hand door and knocked on his door. The guy comes to the door, what do you want? I said, where's John going to? He said, John who? I said, John, your neighbor. What is your neighbor? That rose hair, the 12-wooden teeth. He explained to me that that apartment was derelict, and if I was to walk in, I would drop three flights to my death. And I'm like, he said, they used to yell, I'll take over it. I'm like, these guys are crazy. So I goes back to the meeting the next night that I'd not been to before, and since I met John a couple of months, and I went in hoping that somebody recognized me, and the chairman was like, Rob, oh my God, good to see you. And I'm thinking, oh, thank God for that, I'm not going insane. And I said to him, John's still coming, and he said, John who? And I said, the guy, I'm opening the coffee machine, we're talking about 12 weeks. He said, Robb, we thought you were praying, you were talking to yourself. So we've never found that man. And when I started to get wealthy, I put the best detective agency in Manchester on the case, cost me a lot of money, nobody could find him, there's no evidence of him. But what he taught me is why I believe I'm so good at healing people. We have a 98% success rate, I'm the third of in this industry. It's insane, what we're doing right now. But yeah, it came from him. So that was my turnaround. Wow. Wow. That's, yeah, powerful and amazing. I mean, wow. So I mean, yeah, let's kind of dive into what, you know, we'll just skim the surface. Because we could obviously go on for hours, if we dive in too deep. But, you know, with the brain, you mentioned the subconscious, which is a lot of what I even talk about with my clients, I was introduced to some of that with a mentor of mine, you know, a couple years ago, almost a couple years ago now. And that's been a huge turnaround, you know, for, for things for me, for my business for working with my clients, because we can tell them all day long, most people know what they should and shouldn't eat what they should and shouldn't do. But to get it to actually stick, which was always my goal, like when when I had the gym, I couldn't understand why some people, you know, couldn't keep your results, some people didn't get results, some people got amazing results, like, I knew there was always something missing. And as I started my health coaching practice, I think subconscious, you know, subconscious mind was a big aha for me and the fact that I'm like, this was the missing piece here. So can you maybe dive into that a bit? Yeah, so when we get up in the morning, there's three parts of our mind fighting, conscious brain, subconscious brain. Unfortunately, during the night between the hours of around three and five on a normal circadian sleep pattern is when the body is high to rest, where there's no oxygen, hardly just getting enough to just about stay alive while the repair goes on. It's not when most people die of natural causes on a normal circadian sleep time between them hours. So wake up in the morning, what the subconscious brain loves is hypoxic situation. So the subconscious brain that she wakes us up, unless we get rid of that guy, and introduce the conscious brain from the first 10 minutes you get up, this guy, the horrible guy is going to run you down.
(18:02 - 19:16) So we have a routine gets rid of this guy, and introduced to the conscious brain because the conscious brain loves oxygen. So we flood the body with oxygen first thing, we go out the door, this guy's going to ruin the day, but, and here's the but, the subconscious brain is behind and following you and looking for the slightest thing to go wrong, grab it, and now he's in charge. So when people say to me, Dr. Rob, I've had a really bad day. My answer is always the same, weird question. Was it really a bad day? Or was it five minutes you strung out all day? And it's always the five minutes. We have a subconscious brain that wants to kill us and make it look like an accident. So when you talk about the subconscious and conscious brain, the subconscious is where we keep every bit of trauma, every thought pattern, image, everything, trillions upon trillions upon trillions of thought patterns are stored there. What the brain does very cleverly is it blocks the trauma away from the conscious brain, the prefrontal cortex, so we don't go insane with some of the stuff. But our behavior, our actions, our not keeping jobs all this stuff that goes wrong in life, that's the actions from that stored childhood trauma.
(19:16 - 21:18) So when we introduce the conscious brain, the conscious brain is now. If you think about it right now, it's 12, 21 p.m. where I am. Am I enjoying this moment? Am I really living in this moment? Or is my head saying, well, I did this and next week and after you, I've got to get the now. Because I have no control. What I have control of is this now. And the more people realize it, that is now is all we have. God forbid, each one of us should do something later and get killed by a bus or something, God forbid. But we don't know. So most of the stuff we're anxious about never happens. Never. Well, 94 percent, I think, never happens. Most of the things we're depressed about, we're living in the past. You know, we have to go past, get rid of that stuff, bring it up to date, use that past to become a greatest asset going forward and live in the now. So when we live in the now is what I call stood in the sunlight of the spirit. It's like nobody can touch me. Like you can't, you can't upset or insult me without my permission. I have to put a plus factor on what you just said. So you're an idiot. I've got to accept that I'm an idiot. I don't do that today. You know, so I learned this from a meeting. I was speaking at a meeting in California and they flew me over and stuff. There was a thousand people there, exactly. How do we know? The fire guys were there clicking everybody in. At the end of the speak, which is about two hours, they said, put another two hours aside because everybody will come over. Everybody lines up through the door waiting to shake your hand and say thank you. 999 people said it was amazing. And one person said I was too angry or too loud or so aggressive. I guess I concentrated on for the next three months and almost relapsed that one gap. So we have to be careful who we're surrounded by. Show me your friends. I'll show you future. Well, you don't need validation.
(21:19 - 21:35) Everybody needs validation. Everybody. We don't know we're any good unless people keep telling us and it brainwashes us that we're good and finally we accept it. I was in Dallas for 14 years. I said something to my friends. Often I said to them, I'm thinking of writing a book.
(21:35 - 24:12) Well, they laugh. You're not an author. Don't be stupid. Stupid to come. You can't write. I never wrote a book. I came to San Antonio four or five years ago. I don't know how long it is. And I said to my new friends, I'm thinking of writing a book. Well, they're like, what? You've not wrote a book? Well, you need to write a book. So I wrote a book. You know, I wrote a book because of the surroundings and people I'm with. If you're not getting validated, if you're not getting supported on a daily basis, no one's needy here. You know, what's your ego, Rob? My ego went when they took my kids off me. When my daughter was begging me not to go. My daughter was begging me to stop drinking at 83 years old. That's when my ego went. See, this is 20 years, 30 years. I don't know how long it is. I'm walking with God or spirit or whatever you want to call it. And I have confidence. I used to walk in a room for years and years and years. I used to sit in the corner so nobody could see me. And I would spend the hour wondering who likes me. Today, I put that door down. I walk in and wonder who I like to be. You see, the roles have reversed from my old self to my new self. And it's been the best thing I've ever done. I want people to experience this. And after 30 years, your daughter gets in touch with you? How does that work? I mean, four months ago, my youngest daughter got in contact. How does that work? You know, there's something going on. If you do the right thing, if you help people, don't worry about the money. The money will take care of itself. If you genuinely want to help people, these are the rewards you get back in life and all the stuff. So if you're going through some stuff now, guys, it's a learning. It's your semester at Harvard, no matter how bad it is, because once you come out and you will come out, then you'll sit down one day and somebody will come up and say, what do you know? You've never lost your check. You've never been checked. You've never checked, checked, checked, checked, checked. I've been through everything that you're suffering from. And I know the way out. And every time that happens, that's what I said before, it's what I get up in the morning for. So the story goes that four years ago, my daughter texted me in the middle of the night. I am a concierge doctor, so I work with a lot of A-lists. So when the phone goes, I have to answer it. Message her, look, I'm squinting at it. It's my daughter, Charlie. She says, hey, dad. She actually called me dad.
(24:13 - 24:49) She says, hey, dad, after 30 years. It's about time. I don't believe all these years, what mom was telling me. Can you come over? I want to see you and I've got something to show you. So we're surrounded by a lot of people, as you can imagine. So within like an hour or two, we're on a plane back to the UK. We stayed in overnight in a hotel around the corner from her house. We walk around the next morning. I'm so nervous. We're crying. We can have a big walk. My wife's holding me up. We're stepping up to the door. She says, I can't do this. I can't do this.
(24:50 - 25:04) Still makes me upset today. And I couldn't knock on the door, but she opened the door unexpectedly. And Lindsay, we hugged, we cried. That felt like an hour. It was probably a minute. And she took me, without any words, she took me by my hand. (25:05 - 25:20) And she walked me into her living room. And she handed me my three-month-old granddaughter. Right there and then. And you was doing the right thing, Lindsay. And you. That girl is my lead therapist in my Manchester office today.
(25:21 - 25:34) Wow. Wow. So everything can turn around. Everything. You can train the mind to program the brain that runs your day. 100% we've proven that time and time again.
(25:34 - 25:47) Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it goes into, you know, the stories you tell yourself too, right? I mean, if you keep telling yourself that you're going to be stuck here and you're no good and, and all that stuff, and that's, that's, that's going to happen.
(25:49 - 25:56) Internal dialogue is very powerful. We found that if you get up in the morning, you think you're going to have a good day, you have a good day. If it's bad, you have a bad.
(25:56 - 30:26) I mean, it's, it's mind blowing how our internal dialogue can kill our day and kill us from what we hear from outside. So it's important to surround yourself with positive, good people. If you hang around with non-depressed people, you will, because they're marrying part of the brain and the neural transmitted, you will become depressed. So internal dialogue, like stop a parent. Oh, you idiot. You've got to stop that device. You've got to stop that because that goes straight. We believe in the subconscious brain and it sits there and it's very patient. Then you get that job offer or that girl or guy you're going to date, and then your life's going to change. And the last minute this guy comes forward and said, you're an idiot. Don't go for that interview. Don't turn up to that date. You're ugly. You're fat. You're no good. You're way out of your depth. Stay where you are. Everything's going to be okay. And that's how powerful internal dialogue is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and even kind of going back to your story a little bit too. I mean, I feel like there's just, there's so many pieces or elements, I guess you want to say, you know, there is that spiritual element, of course, you know, the physical. But I just, there's layers, I feel like, you know, to the brain, right? I mean, that can be affecting all of that. Yeah. Yeah. I think you need all of that we spoke about. So you need, so our studies have shown this, a couple of things in recovery, that when we have a change of mind, so when we change neural pathways and repassing, we have this software here. When we repass in the neural pathways, and when you have a connection of your power in your mind to another power, your DNA changes. You can look it up guys, with my name, just look it up. It's ever so slightly, but your DNA changes. Now, why is that important? One might ask you oneself, well, you're not the same person as you was. Clinically, that might psychologically, clinically, medically, you're not the same person. And if you if you keep telling yourself this, and do things that we're not supposed to do, I'm not supposed to be here doing what I'm doing, I'm supposed to be dead. If not back in England, doing nothing with my life, then it starts to happen. We can create our own future or present, we can actually create it. When I first came to Amnesia, I used to say one thing, and I still say it today, you can do anything in the world that you want to do. And you can achieve anything that you want to achieve. And they used to say to me all the time, well, I can't be president of the United States. Let's forget our political views. I'm not into politics whatsoever. But you can't deny we're businessmen running the country with no experience whatsoever. So don't dare tell me aren't achieving dreams. Somebody's put that there. Yeah, yeah. Are there any like, practices that somebody could implement, you know, today to kind of start changing those, that changing that internal dialogue and changing those stories? I'm going to rock your world with you guys, okay, with the three simple exercises and something to do while you're going around your day. We talked about a subconscious brain waking us up. How do we get rid of that guy? Well, here's what we do. We stand up and hold on to something as soon as you wake up. Remember, hypoxic situations, subconscious brain. And we take 20 exaggerated breaths in and out. Now, why is this important? We're flushing the brain and every cell in our body with oxygen. We only breathe 45% of our oxygen capacity on a daily basis. We don't anymore. The reasons that you guys feel good out and running, cycling, or the gym is not the exercise. It's that in between steps. So it looks like this. Really get it in and out. You will go dizzy because the brain's not used to that much oxygen. But now it's alive. Now the conscious brain is alive, ready to go. Now let's change some pathways on what people think about us in our mind. Go into the bathroom. If you brush your teeth with your right, I want you to do a week on the left, week on the right, week on the left, week on the right for a month. That's all. We're changing up them self-sabotaging always pathways to another route. Little things like that we can change away from the norm. Self-sabotage lives on the norm, lives in the past, lives on bad routines that you have.
(30:26 - 31:48) The next thing I need to do, guys, is to step six feet away from the mirror and say, I love you 10 times eye to eye. Now, why do we have to stand six foot back? Well, it's an optical illusion with us. So when we get close, either putting on makeup on girls or shaving, you can see every blemish on my face. That's how I think people see me. But when you step back, all the blemishes disappear. That's how people see it. When's the last time you go in the office, guys? Hey, Jimmy, great tip. We don't do that. But that's what we think. I don't have any spot there. Nobody cares and nobody can see it. Compliment three people tomorrow and wear a rubber band on your opposite watch. So if you've got a watch, wear it on the left. Just wear this rubber band that you can snap. Oh, it hurts. And every time a negative thought pattern starts, snap it. And basically what you're doing is you're resetting the central nervous system and jolting your pathways to self-sabotage. It may happen a hundred times a day. You keep snapping that, you'll stay in the now. You'll stay in the conscious brain. And anything, but anything, is achievable. We're going to, you know, well, I can't. Says who? Well, you can't be happy every day. Dr. Robert says who? You can't have the perfect marriage where you're laughing and says who? Who's making these rules up? Because I don't like these rules based on past.
(31:48 - 32:01) So I'm going to start making my own rules up. Me and my wife dance in the bathroom every morning. The dogs are dancing with us. We throw stuff at each other. We're laughing, we're joking, we're touching each other all day long. We live in that relationship that we want, that we built.
(32:02 - 32:51) Well, that's the way marriage is. Says who? Who's making these relationship rules up? Me and my wife. I'm not having your rules. You know, you can't both be happy. You've got to have some kind of argument. Says who? With open dialogue, being honest, communicating correctly, loving, caring, protecting. There's no arguments. There's nothing to argue about. You know, people always want to put yourself in this box of this is how. Well, you have depression. So, you know, the typical example. We get depressed. What's the first thing that we read a lady in last came in. That's a rub. I'm so depressed. Oh, my God. Tears. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry about that. Oh, my God. How long has it been going on? Five years. Five years. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
(32:52 - 35:28) You took any medication for that? Yeah. What do you take? I said, well, butane. I love you, but I love butane. About three years. When do you think it's going to kick in? Because it hasn't kicked in yet. But we follow these rules and regulations instead of rushing to the doctor to get a false serotonin. Why aren't we, as human beings, asking ourselves, why my serotonin is low in the first place? Because that's what it says in the medical dictionary of the United States, the depression, lack of serotonin. But we don't do that. We follow the crowd and we expect to live. So life is like that. Look at me. I'm 64 years old. If we look around with all the scientists' tests and the Bible, 76-ish is what we're supposed to live to. I have 11 or 12 birthdays left. I have 11 Christmases left. You think I'm going to sit there and fob it all? No, I'm not. I'm going to live my life to the full every single day. And to be honest with you guys, shame on you if you don't. And I know it's hard. I'm not saying there's work to be done, a lot of work to be done, but you can live in that place where your life is absolutely amazing. You really can. Well, and if you just sit there and think, well, I only have maybe 11 Christmases left or 12 Christmases left or whatever, then yeah, I mean, that's how it's going to be, right? Yeah, yeah. You've got to get up and go. You've got to change dialogue every day. I always say, do things you're not supposed to do. What does that mean? If you weigh 350 pounds like me, I weigh 205 now, lose the weight. You know, if you want a job, plan for the job. If you want a car, it's 100%. Now you can start planning. Don't wait till the 1st of January. No, what's the 1st of January for another excuse? I had a girl in today, this morning, she's starting a healthy eating today. Not the 1st of January, but now she's starting. It's like, got to do it now, guys. There's a 7.3 rule that we stick to. And that 7.3 second rule is when you can change pathways to the good away from bad. So if I'm sat on the couch tonight, watching TV, I got a big drink of Coke. I don't drink it. And chips, I don't eat them either. But let's say I did. My belly's out a little bit and what my wife's there and looking at the TV and all the Schwarzenegger comes on. And I say to my wife, thinking of going to the gym tomorrow. I ain't going to the gym tomorrow. I know it. She knows it. The dogs know it. And the cat's walking past. Yeah, right, dude. I'm not going to go.
(35:28 - 36:51) But in that 7.3 second timeframe, if I get up, walk to the bedroom, get my sneakers and stuff and put that near the door when I'm going out or in the car, there's a better chance of me going. Yeah, yeah. I talk about that. Actually, my book just came out. But I do talk about that throughout the book as well. Because you're running, whatever, your workout gear out the night before, packing your bag. There's so many things that you could do. And even sometimes, maybe it doesn't happen. But maybe doing that for a week or so of just waking up and seeing your workout gear in the morning. And okay, you didn't make it out that day. But that might be the first step just to start changing the mind and changing the routine and breaking that pattern from just getting up and grabbing the coffee and starting your day. So yeah. I do want to talk more about the addiction piece because in my world, it's addiction to food. There's the emotional eating side. Even the physical hungers themselves, we're not craving the right stuff.
(36:52 - 37:13) Because we've been feeding our bodies the wrong stuff for so long. It doesn't understand that. Wow, what a conversation. If something he shared hit you in the chest a little, whether it was a story, the way he described the subconscious mind, or the idea of smashing the box. I just want to say, you're not alone. And there is nothing wrong with you for struggling.
(37:14 - 37:24) One of my biggest takeaways from today is this. It's not about the thing, not the food, not the alcohol, not the habit. It's about what your nervous system learned to do to survive.
(37:24 - 38:23) And the good news is those patterns can be rewired. I want to thank Dr. Robb Kelly for joining me today. And if you want to connect with him, you can find him at robkelly.com. I'll also link everything in the show notes. So it's easy for you. And as he mentioned something really generous, he's offering a limited number of signed book copies to listeners. So if you want one, reach out to me or follow the instructions in the show notes and we'll make sure you have what you need to get connected. If you love this episode, take a screenshot, share it to your stories and tag me so I can thank you and share you on. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, leaving a quick review helps more people find these conversations, especially the ones who need them most. As always, friend, your body is not betraying you. It's communicating with you and you don't have to white knuckle your to healing. I'm sending you so much love and I'll see you on the next episode of PCOS unfiltered nourish, heal, thrive.