What happens when you ignore your body for too long? In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Lindsie is joined by Terri Kozlowski, author, trauma warrior, emotional resilience coach, and host of the Soul Solutions podcast, to explore what it truly means to reconnect with your body after years of disconnection, survival mode, and suppressed emotions. Terri shares her own life-altering wake-up call — a ruptured appendix and near-death experience — that forced her to confront just how disconnected she had become from her body’s signals. From there, they dive into how trauma, chronic stress, and emotional suppression can show up as physical symptoms, and why so many women, especially those navigating PCOS and chronic conditions, struggle to trust their bodies. Together, they unpack nervous system regulation, fear versus intuition, shame versus guilt, emotional resilience, and the daily practices that help women stop living in survival mode and start leading themselves with clarity, compassion, and self-trust. This episode is an invitation to slow down, listen differently, and remember that your body isn’t betraying you — it’s communicating with you.
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(0:00 - 0:37) All of this because I didn't listen to what my body was telling me. And for me, it took my body literally exploding for me to realize that how disconnected I was. And what I mean by that is I ended up having a ruptured appendix because I ignored all the signs that I had appendicitis. And you can only ignore the signs so long. I ignored them for almost a full week before I finally said, I probably should go to the doctor. And the only reason I did that was because that morning, I was supposed to go on a camping trip with my husband and my son.
(0:38 - 3:33) And had I gone on that camping trip, I would have been in the wilderness of Indiana, which is not a place to have a ruptured appendix. So I agreed to go to the doctor and before I mean in the middle of the CAT scan, my appendix ruptured. And my appendix ruptured. And then I still didn't since I didn't listen for almost a whole week, I ended up with peritonitis and almost died and all of this because I didn't listen to what my body was telling me because I had disconnected from it. And so the reintegration and reconnection to my body came during that healing process where I had to pay attention to everything and had I not paid attention, I would have died. So when you don't pay attention to your body, you end up causing more harm to yourself than if you took the time and said, okay, what is my body telling me? Welcome back to the podcast. Today's conversation is a powerful one, especially for any woman who has ever felt disconnected from her body, overwhelmed by symptoms, or stuck in survival mode. I'm joined by Terri Kozlowski, author, trauma warrior, emotional resilience coach, and host of the Soul Solutions podcast. Terri is a Native American woman of the Raven Clan, and her work beautifully weaves together science-based emotional awareness, nervous system regulation, Indigenous wisdom, and deeply practical tools for healing. After surviving childhood trauma, generational patterns, and decades of living in fear, Terri devoted her life to understanding the mind-body connection and what it truly means to come home to yourself. In this conversation, we talk about how disconnection from the body shows up as physical symptoms, why so many women suppress emotions in order to survive, and how learning to regulate the nervous system can restore clarity, trust, and self-advocacy, especially for women navigating chronic conditions like PCOS. We also dive into emotional resilience, fear versus intuition, shame versus guilt, and the simple daily practices that help women stop living in survival mode and start leading themselves with self-trust and compassion. Just a reminder, the content shared on PCOS Unfiltered is for informational and educational purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by the host and guests are not intended to serve as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or treatment plan. The information shared is based on personal experience and expert interviews and is not a substitute for professional medical guidance. This is one of those conversations that invites you to slow down, listen differently, and remember that your body has been speaking to you all along. Now let's dive in.
(3:42 - 5:51) Hello, welcome to Terri. Super excited to have you here. Let's just kind of get started. So first, just tell us a little bit about you and why you're here. My name is Terri Kozlowski. I am an author, a podcast host, as well as a life coach specifically for women who have had traumatic events in their life and they're not quite sure how to overcome them. I like to say that I'm the bridge to those people. I've gone through it all. I understand every aspect of it. And for people who don't want to prolong their suffering, I can be the bridge to help you overcome and get to a place where you can live a life of more than surviving, but of thriving. Yeah, love that. I mean, and it's, I actually just recorded two other podcasts and this topic just, it comes up like throughout so many things. So I can't wait to dive in. So let's do it. So yeah, many women with PCOS do feel overwhelmed and disconnected from their bodies. And I think that's, that's with a lot of conditions even in general, but how does regulating the nervous system restore that clarity, calm, and trust in the body again? Well, for a lot of people, when you have any sort of trauma, you have any sort of dis-ease in the body. We tend to try to disconnect from it. And when we disconnect from our body, all kinds of bad things happen because our body is how our soul speaks to us. And we disconnect from our soulful self in doing so. And for a lot of us, that reconnection is very, very difficult because we are taught as young girls, especially that we have to suppress our emotions. And when we suppress our emotions, again, you are forcing the body to be silent. And eventually the body explodes and says, I can't be silent anymore. And that reconnection can be a difficult process. And for me, it took my body literally exploding for me to realize that how disconnected I was.
(5:51 - 7:09) And what I mean by that is I ended up having a ruptured appendix because I ignored all the signs that I had appendicitis. And you can only ignore the signs so long. I ignored them for almost a full week before I finally said, I probably should go to the doctor. And the only reason I did that was because that morning I was supposed to go on a camping trip with my husband and my son. And had I gone on that camping trip, I would have been in the wilderness of Indiana, which is not a place to have a ruptured appendix. So I agreed to go to the doctor and before, I mean, in the middle of the CAT scan, my appendix ruptured. So they have gorgeous pictures of my appendix rupturing. Oh my gosh. And off I went into emergency surgery and you're disconnected from your body. You don't feel anything because I wasn't in pain. I felt strange, but feeling strange is normal for me. Because when you have an upset stomach, because I stuffed emotions, that's where all my symptoms came from was within my stomach, my abdomen, my intestinal tract, appendicitis and my appendix ruptured. (7:09 - 7:32) And then I still didn't, since I didn't listen for almost a whole week, I ended up with peritonitis. And almost died. So I was under doctor's care for literally, I want to say from September 1st through December, almost the end of December, because the peritonitis wouldn't go away.
(7:33 - 11:18) And you could have thrown anthrax on me and I would not have gotten anthrax because of the amount of antibiotics, IV antibiotics, all kinds of things that I was on, which then burnt out my fingertips, burn out my toes, ended up with all kinds of neuropathy because of it. And all of this because I didn't listen to what my body was telling me because I had disconnected from it. And so the reintegration and reconnection to my body came during that healing process where I had to pay attention to everything. I had to pay attention when I didn't feel well. Why didn't I feel well? Well, I ended up with a fever and that's how I ended up finding out I had peritonitis. And had I not paid attention, I would have died. So when you don't pay attention to your body, you end up causing more harm to yourself than if you took the time and said, okay, what is my body telling me? What is that strange feeling around my knee? What is that pain in my heart? And is that pain actually my heart pain? Or is that actually an emotional pain that I'm stuffing that I need to pay attention to? And through time, you slowly start to reintegrate and start paying attention to those physical feelings that you spent so long stuffing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, for me, it was my gluten reaction. Yeah, I was in immense pain. Looked like I was six months pregnant. But after I realized what it was and looking back, I was like, oh my God, the signs were there for years, years. Even thinking back to high school, you know, probably. Yeah. So this is a super important topic because I feel like this theme is kind of woven throughout some episodes. But I love that we can talk a little bit more, you know, about that because there is, there's so much, you know, you mentioned the emotional aspect of things, suppressing that and how that can affect our health, you know, our physical health. But even just listening, not listening to your body, you know, in other ways can, you know, can bring a lot of, a lot of issues. You touched on the gluten. So I went through that as well. I am from an Italian family. And we eat pasta three days a week, every week for most of my life, from a child up and through at about 40. I realized something's not quite right when I eat pasta. And I would gain five to six pounds by eating one plate of pasta. And I realized that it was the gluten. And I'm not allergic. And so I took gluten out of my diet. And I started paying attention to what my body felt when I ate something. Yeah. And when you start doing that, you know, I get told, well, if you ever go to Italy, does that mean you're not eating pasta? And I said, well, number one, Italy's pasta is different than American pasta. Number one. Number two, if I go to France, and I did, was in Paris, did I eat croissants? Absolutely. But again, their croissants are different than what you get here. And that's part of learning what the American diet actually is, you know, what were sold as the, you know, good nutrition in the United States is very different than what is sold as good nutrition in other places in the world. And it's about learning how to read the ingredients list, because you'll be shocked once you do that you think you're eating. Well, you know, we used to eat Jif peanut butter when we were kids.
(11:18 - 11:25) Well, Jif peanut butter when we were kids, really had three ingredients. It now has I think 27. Yeah, it's crazy.
(11:25 - 13:10) So yeah, don't feed your kids Jif peanut butter. And so that's part of the relearning process that we have to go through when we realize that our body is telling us a story that we need to pay attention to. And we need to start looking at what we're putting into it. And what we thought was good nutrition, growing up, what we thought good nutrition was, and we were young and pregnant and having babies, what we fed our children is very different than what is currently on the market. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and for a lot, you probably know this. I know I've experienced this with my clients. And, you know, we know it's not that easy. Yes, like, you know, we can say don't eat that all day long. And somebody might be able to do it for a short amount of time. But in the long run, it's probably not going to be that easy to actually stick with, you know, removing that. You know, going back to even our story, so a lot of people react based off of, right, pain or pleasure, you know, maybe some fear aspect in there. So you do talk about that. How can this, you know, how can the shift support women navigating, you know, PCOS symptoms, you know, of any kind and supporting those lifestyle changes long term, by kind of starting to listen and opening their eyes to what's going on now versus just reacting from that fear. So fear is a very strange thing. Fear is definitely not internal. It's an external society based, somebody else told you based, it is not an internal thing.
(13:10 - 17:02) We are not, when we are children, we have no fear. Fear is a learned behavior. And then in for a lot of people with trauma, it is a behavior that becomes life saving. Because the ego's job is to protect you. And therefore it will tell you lies, it will cheat, it will do all kinds of things to keep you safe. Even though a lot of times the way it keeps you safe, when you were younger, no longer applies when you are an adult. And so when we start looking at where our fear is coming from, and what triggers our fear, we have to learn to respond to it in two ways. Number one, we have to realize that just because our ego thinks it's something that needs we need to be protected from, doesn't mean that that is true. And what I mean by that is, the very clear example is the ego doesn't know what's real and what's not real. I could watch a horror movie, and I would physically react to the horror like it was really happening to me because my ego did not know the difference. I had enough horror in my childhood that my ego cannot tell the difference between a horror movie and real life. Therefore, me watching horror movies doesn't behoove me in any way, shape or form. So I quit watching them long, long ago. Therefore, I also have to train my ego to say, this is not real. And you can talk yourself through that process of making sure your ego realizes that this is entertainment. Now, in my own head, I can't imagine why people want to be entertained by being horrified and scared. I don't want to do that. So I don't. But if I was going to a movie with a friend, and we were going to see something that was more along the horror lines, I would talk my ego through the fact that this is entertainment, I'm here socially with friends, we're going to have a good time, there's nothing for me to be afraid of. And you can talk yourself through those triggers that cause us to react negatively to things. And then we have to start training ourselves is to replace that with something better. And this is where for our health, we need to start trading in sugar for something more, more protein, you know, more good fats, those types of things that will satiate that sugar craving in a way that maintains our gut biomes and allows us to feel full and feel satiated instead of always trying to make us feel better through sugar, through chocolate, through whatever means, you know, the satiation process is for your particular issue, your body, whatever it is that you've been dealing with. Yeah, yeah, and I do I talk a lot about I mean, because yes, like we know we want to remove certain things sugar is at the top of that list, right? But, but even sometimes we need to add things like I talked to my clients about adding things even before removing because then your body starts to shift. I mean, you know, you kind of touched on it there, like, our mind wants to keep us safe, right? You know, so if all it knows is sugar, and that's what it thinks is what it needs, that's what it's going to keep asking for. But if you start shifting to, okay, let's add in some more vegetables, let's add in some more protein and these nutrients, then you got to break that pattern and your mind kind of starts, okay, maybe this is what I actually need. I actually feel better on this stuff. And then yes, and then start, you know, start removing the sugars or some other you know, gluten, if you think that might be a culprit, whatever it might be.
(17:02 - 21:44) One of the one of the ways I remove sugar from my diet, I was always a vegetable eater. So that was never an issue. It was more about finding ways to eat quickly. That's always a hard thing, because when you eat quickly, then you go for a protein bar and you go for all these things that are easy and quick. So I started eating more raw vegetables, but I made my own balsamic dipping sauce, which is a little sweet, so that you have that. And sometimes even if you did something like a raspberry, raspberry balsamic vinegar, it's enough sweetness to bypass your taste buds and your brain and give you the fiber and additional vegetables in your diet that your body is craving. Yeah, yeah, I kind of talk about it as like a methadone, you know, you start kind of replacing it, you know, to get to sugar can be just as addictive as, as any other drug. And so yeah, actually, it's actually more addictive. It's addictive than heroin per studies, which is amazing. And that just shows you how inundated our diet is when you look at even the protein bars and the first ingredient is corn syrup or sugar and the protein is fourth or fifth on the list. Yeah, yeah, I was I was guilty of that because they're marketed as protein bars. But when you actually like, like you mentioned, read the ingredients, and yeah, very eye opening when you do that. So what are you know, we're kind of talking a little bit, but what are some just practical, everyday practices or tips that you have that women could use to reduce stress, you know, bring their nervous system back into balance even during some, you know, busy high pressure seasons? I have two tools. The first one is name it and feel it. And this is hard for women, because we tend to not recognize what it is we're feeling. So we may think we're hungry when reality is we're bored. We may think we're hungry when when instead we're feeling anxious. And we use food as a way to stuff our emotions. So you have to sit with yourself and you have to feel whatever it is you're feeling. And feelings are neither positive or negative. They just are. So if you're feeling sad, feel it. And then name that what it is you're feeling. I feel sad. Why do you feel sad? I feel sad because my body isn't reacting the way I want it to. And okay, so now what can you do with that? Once you've named it, you have to switch it and reframe it into okay, I can do and name something you can do to make yourself feel better and to change your vibrational frequency. So you don't feel sad, but you may feel down, because a lot of people can't go from sad to happy. They can't make that transition. And it's very difficult for your ego to make that transition. But you can go from being sad to feeling down and change. Okay, now I don't feel sad anymore, I feel down. And what can I do to raise my vibrational frequency, make myself do something so I am not feeling as down. Something as simple as turning on happy music that you can dance to. Because that does all kinds of things from a vibrational frequency as well as moving your body, which will always make you feel better when you move your body, whether you're dancing across the kitchen floor, or, you know, you're slow dancing with your significant other, whatever those things are, it will make you feel better. Especially if and if you're alone, and you need to do that dancing, you know, to your favorite song that you used to do when you were a teenager will always bring a smile to your face. And you have just now changed and altered your feeling your stuffing, and you've made it into something positive. The second thing I do, especially when you're very anxious, your, your emotions are really, really overwhelming, is that you breathe for a count of five in, you hold for a count of five, and you breathe out for a count of five and do that three times. And what that does is it resets your autatomic nervous system, so that your anxiety level immediately diminishes your heart rate slows, your breathing rate slows, and it allows you to pause and reconnect with your soulful heart. And when you reconnect with your soulful heart, you now are listening to what your body's telling you.
(21:45 - 30:27) And you can't do that when you're really high strung, very anxious and emotionally overwhelmed, you are more likely to try to stuff than you are to actually try to feel and calm yourself and move into the next phase, which is really understanding what is my body trying to say to me, and they're and listening to, okay, I need to calm down, I need to be in this moment, because most of us don't live in the current moment, we live in the future, or we live in the past. And the past is where depression lives. So if you are feeling depressed, you are living in the past, if you are feeling anxious, you are living in the future. And in the present moment, guess what, you're okay, in the present moment. And we tend to want to be in the past or in the future. When the present moment brings us peace, it's the only place we we can actually feel what we're currently feeling. It's the only place we can heal. It's the only place that we can connect with our soulful self. And it really is the only place we can connect with others is in the present moment. And so you know, putting down your phone, being fully present, making eye contact, making those personal connections is how we really connect with not only with our bodies, but with others and start that healing path that we need to be on with the support from others that is always beneficial. Yeah, you said so many good things there. I mean, the breathing, especially to like that's, yeah, that's the foundation piece of what I do with my clients as well. Yeah, step one, and I, you know, have them continue that I do it a lot of times around meals, but anytime you're feeling that way, like you mentioned, but especially the living in the present piece, you know, I was just with family and my little nieces that I adore for the holidays. And there's times which I do try to keep my phone away from them anyways, because of course, you know, little minds want to know what's going on. But like, sure, there's times where I would have liked to have like gotten on my phone and taken a picture. But literally, I think this time, I just said, I'm going to take a snapshot in my head right now, because like, it's a great moment. And I did, I wanted to just be present instead of like pausing to grab my phone or something. But I think that's a super important piece of that, that a lot of us, you know, don't do or just like, kind of in that habit condition to do it. Nowadays, we just want to go for our phone and take a picture of everything, you know, so. And although all that, although that picture is something that we can look back on the reality is we weren't present. And we may have missed something that was even more important, which is that connection with that child. Children don't care if their pictures are taken or not. Yeah, they care about you being present with them in that moment. Yeah, for sure. So how does emotional resilience support hormone health, burnout recovery and self advocacy and medical settings? So resilience is something that most people don't think they have. But if you're here today, you have it way shape reform with whatever that you are trying to deal with on your healing journey. But from a medical standpoint, that resilience is really about making sure that you give your body what it needs, it needs to have rest. It's the most important foundational thing that you need to give your body is the rest because all healing happens when you sleep. That is when your body resets. That is when your your liver is detoxing. That is when your all your hormones are rebalancing, cortisol is being reset. All these things happen when you are asleep. And if you do not sleep properly, do not give yourself that rest that your body needs, then it is always trying to get to a place where it can do that. And if you don't give it that time, it will force you to give that give it that time in some way, shape or form normally through dis ease in the body. And then of course, you need to be well hydrated because that's how you get rid of your toxins is through the hydration process. And that's also how your, your skin comes back bounces back from any of the negative things you do to it by being in the sun, by all the environmental toxins that are in the air, you need to have that water so your skin and your body can hydrate itself. And then of course, the nutrition, those things that you put in your body purposefully, intentionally, and when you are fully present as you are taking in those substances versus eating in your car on your way to do something, where you're not being intentional about it, and you're forcing your body to do things that it doesn't normally want to do to try to get nutrition in. And that resiliency comes from being able to have the time and the preservation to have self care. And self care is something that women have a really hard time with. And you know, taking care of yourself is very, very important. Because if you go down, let me say when I had appendicitis, and ended up with peritonitis, I had had a 10 year old at home who had never used the microwave, so didn't know how to make me barely could do breakfast with cereal and a bowl because I was a stay at home mom. And so I was doing everything. And this was for him, something that was difficult for him to go through because I had not prepared him for it. And because I because nothing could take me down. I was wrong. And this is a learning process. And so please use my story to understand that you need to prepare your kids for when is something that happens to you, whether it's the flu or cold, whatever it is, they need to understand that it's important for parents, and especially moms to have rest so that they can maintain good health. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, women, you know, like, I'm not a mom, but I still have that in me. I think I think my nursing, you know, that was part of why I became a nurse. I just wanted to help people and do do do. And yeah, when I had my, you know, wake up call is when I said, Okay, I got to actually do for myself this time. And that's okay. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I think that's a super important message for so many women out there. Because we're just we're the ones doing for everybody. I feel like let me want I want to reframe something that you said. You said feeling guilty about taking time for yourself. That is not the correct word. Guilt is something that we when we do wrong, we know we did wrong. And guilt is a feedback loop for us to correct what we did wrong. What you're referring to is shame. Shame for taking time for yourself is put upon you by society put upon you by others put upon you by parents put upon you by family because you aren't there doing what you normally do for them. So shame is the word that I would use for those types of feelings, because that is not something internal. When we take time for ourself, we technically don't feel guilty. We feel ashamed for doing it. And shame is something put upon you by society, not something that's an internal positive feedback loop. I love that. I love that. What would you say to a woman who feels like she's doing everything right, but still struggles physically or emotionally? And what does true self-compassion look like on the journey? Self-compassion is really about self-care and understanding that you are a priority in your life. And for most women, we are not a priority in our own lives. We are there for others, we are there for our family, we are there for our children. But when we pause and realize that we need to be there for ourselves first, everybody uses the analogy because it is so true. If you're on an airplane and things pop down from the overhead bin, you go ahead and put that mask on yourself. (30:27 - 33:01) And you coming first for your own health is a priority because you can't be there for anybody else unless you are healthy. And therefore, self-compassion comes down to understanding that I need alone time. I need time to prepare healthy meals for myself. I need time to sleep. I need time when my body is telling me a cold is coming on, maybe you should pause and rest today, that you take that time and rest today. Because that way you may stay off whatever is happening to your body when you give it the rest it needs to recover. And feeding yourself those correct foods instead of the protein bars as we're running out the door. Yes, yes. I mean, that's a great, great point. I mean, I think that's a good way to kind of wrap it up. Any final thoughts? One of the big things that most women have issues with is that we don't believe we're enough. And that for some reason, when we give 100%, or 110%, we're still not enough. And the reality is you were born enough. When you look at a newborn baby, that baby can't do anything but cry and make a dirty diaper and eat. That's what that baby does. And yet that baby is absolutely enough. And we will go out of our way to make sure that baby has everything that it needs. Why does that change as we grow? And why do women allow that to change within themselves as they grow? You are enough just as you are. And you are meant to be exactly who you are, because you are supposed to be your authentic self. There is nobody else like Lindsay on the planet. And there's nobody else like Terry on the planet. I can be the perfect Terry Kozlowski, because there is no other one. And I'm enough, just as I am, just as Lindsay is enough, just as she is. And that is by far the hardest message for women to hear, is that they are enough, just as they are. I love that. Are there any practices around that that someone could implement, would you say, to help remind them of that every day? I use I am affirmations, because I believe I am is the most powerful self-talk we have. Whether you say, I am tired, guess what? If you are always saying you are tired, you will always be tired. (33:02 - 35:20) You need to switch that up and say, I have enough energy to accomplish the tasks I need to accomplish today. And start talking to yourself with those I am statements. I am worthy. I am enough. I am grateful for the day I have ahead of me. I am grateful for the body that I have, that I am blessed with the health. I am blessed with being able to put in the right nutrition to my body. I am going to hydrate today, like my body needs. When you start saying those I am statements, it really brings you into the present moment, because you are not saying I was, you are not saying I will be. I am is a current, present statement. Yeah, I did a program a while back, and the first step was, and I do have my clients do this as well, but that's what kind of got me started on it. But the first step was to print out, or even like if you want to put it on your phone or your desktop screensaver, but I actually printed out and put on my mirror the statement that said I am enough. And I put it on my mirror, you know, so I could see it every day as I'm getting ready. And it was just a great reminder to also just help me start changing that thinking. One of the negative things that came out when everybody started saying that I am enough was that, you know, you're too much. And my response to that is great. I appreciate that. Thank you. And I took it as a compliment, because that means I am too much me. And since nobody else can be me, being too much of me is perfect. Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. Last question is, how can somebody find you and connect with you? Easily, I'm at terrykozlowski.com, T-E-R-R-I-K-O-Z-L-O-W-S-K-I.com. I have my books there, my podcast is there, Soul Solutions, and all my books are on Amazon as well. And I'm across all social media under Terry Kozlowski. Awesome. I'll link everything in the show notes as well. Thank you. But I really appreciate you taking the time to do this with me. Good conversation. I definitely think our listeners could take take away some big points there. So I really, really appreciate it. Well, you're very welcome. Thank you very much, Lindsay, for having me on your show.
(35:24 - 36:37) I want to thank Terri for this conversation. I truly believe there are so many moments here that will deeply land for our listeners, especially the reminders that our bodies aren't betraying us, that fear is often learned, and that healing begins when we slow down enough to listen. I love how she reframes self care, emotional resilience, and even guilt versus shame in a way that gives women permission to stop pushing and start honoring themselves. And that reminder that you are enough, not because of what you do, but because of who you are, feels especially important for the women listening today. For anyone who wants to learn more from Terry, connect with her work, or explore her books and resources, you can visit TerriKozlowski.com. You'll also find her podcast, Soul Solutions there, along with links to her books and offerings. And of course, I'll make sure everything's linked in the show notes for easy access. If this episode resonated with you, I encourage you to pause, take a breath, and reflect on what your body might be asking for right now. Healing doesn't come from forcing, it comes from listening. As always, thank you for being here and for trusting yourself enough to stay curious. I'm sending you so much love, and I'll see you on the next episode of PCOS Unfiltered, Nourish, Heal, Thrive.