What if the exhaustion, overwhelm, and constant feeling of being "on" isn't a personal failing—but a nervous system that has been stuck in survival mode for years? In this episode of PCOS Unfiltered, Lindsie sits down for part two with nervous system recalibration coach Tanya Ward to explore how chronic stress, caregiving, and lifelong responsibility can keep women trapped in patterns of hyper-vigilance, burnout, and disconnection from themselves. Tanya explains why lasting change doesn't start with willpower or mindset—it starts with helping the nervous system feel safe. Together, they discuss the unique pressures many women face, the conditioning that teaches us to care for everyone else before ourselves, and how chronic stress impacts energy, boundaries, intuition, and overall well-being. They also share simple, practical ways to begin regulating the nervous system throughout the day without adding more to an already full schedule. This conversation is a powerful reminder that healing isn't about doing more. It's about slowing down enough to hear what your body has been trying to tell you all along.
Many women try to fix burnout, fatigue, and overwhelm with more effort. Tanya explains that lasting change happens when the nervous system feels safe enough to stop bracing against life.
You don't need an hour-long morning routine to support your nervous system. A few deep breaths during a bathroom break or a brief pause between tasks can create meaningful shifts over time.
As nervous system stability improves, women often find themselves better able to say no, honor their energy, and make decisions that align with their needs rather than their obligations.
When the brain is no longer focused on survival, there's more capacity to notice body signals, emotional responses, and inner guidance that may have been drowned out by chronic stress.
One of the most beautiful outcomes of nervous system recalibration is the ability to experience joy in everyday moments again—whether that's hearing birds outside your window, having a meaningful conversation, or simply feeling present.
"What if your bathroom break wasn't just a biological necessity, but a chance to reconnect with yourself for a minute and a half?"
"Healing doesn't come from doing more. It comes from understanding better."
"As we start to honor our own energy and our own needs, that creates a positive cycle."
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to PCOS Unfiltered and share it with a friend who may be stuck in survival mode. Sometimes the first step toward healing is simply realizing you don't have to carry everything alone. 🩷
⚠️ Podcast Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your health routine.
(0:00) One of my favorite tips that I use mostly with women because sometimes the only time as women (0:07) we get time to ourselves is when we're in the bathroom. So whether that's at work or at home, (0:14) whatever it is, that if taking those small moments instead of thinking of the next thing you've got (0:21) to do and being in that mindset that on your bathroom breaks, what if you just connected (0:27) with your breath, just took a couple deep breaths and just really just took that minute and a half (0:35) potty break for yourself, right? Not just biologically in, in relieving yourself, (0:41) but of just quieting the mind can help really then refocus of going back in to your day. (0:51) Welcome back to PCOS Unfiltered, where we ditch the one size fits all advice.(0:56) I'm Lindsay, nurse turned health coach, author of Healing Beyond the Diagnosis and mindful (1:01) eating advocate. Here we go beyond the diagnosis so you can start understanding the messages behind (1:06) your symptoms. Now, before we get into today's guest, I wanted to let you all know that I'm (1:12) looking for 10 ladies to help me upload all my offerings so I can better serve you and get you (1:18) the results that you desire.Be sure to check the show notes for the link to book a quick call (1:22) with me and grab your freebie. Today, my guest is Tanya Ward. Tanya works with midlife women (1:28) exiting survival mode caregiving.And after 25 years in the wellness space, she identified a (1:34) pattern. Chronic responsibility reshapes stress physiology and clarity doesn't return until the (1:40) nervous system feels safe again. She leads a structured six month recalibration process (1:45) grounded in nervous system science, helping women stabilize, interrupt stress patterns, (1:50) and rebuild sustainable energy.As a reminder, the content shared here on PCOS Unfiltered (1:56) is for informational and educational purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by the host (2:02) and guests are not intended to serve as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare (2:07) professional before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or treatment plan.The information (2:12) shared is based on personal experience and expert interviews, and it's not a substitute for (2:16) professional medical guidance. Now settle in, maybe they're ready to take some notes and let's (2:21) dive in. Here's my conversation with Tanya Ward.What makes your recalibration process different (2:34) from traditional coaching? Well, the first and foremost is that we start with the nervous system.
(2:41) We look at that and we are about lighting issues. Hold on a second.Something just happened. There (2:51) we go. Really allowing healing to unfold at the level of which the person is needing to go to.(3:02) So we're not forcing anything. I have a roadmap that is not a linear roadmap, usually, and it's (3:11) about pulling in what my client needs at that time. So allowing for that, that's different.(3:21) Starting with the root cause, and then layering on the mindset work once there is the opening for (3:31) that. And really staying true to that process of one step at a time and not skipping over and not (3:41) bypassing of Oh, well, we're not going to look at this. I don't need to deal with this.Let's just (3:45) move on here. But instead of pulling back and working through it at the at the pace of what's (3:54) right for the person without reengaging that nervous system. (3:59) Yeah.Now you work with men and women is I've talked about this before a little bit too. But (4:09) you know, we as women, I feel like we're so, you know, go, go, go do all the things take care of (4:15) everybody. So like, what are some of the differences that you might see even, you know, (4:20) working with women, you know, versus men? So I work mostly with women, I'm always surprised of (4:30) the men who come to me that after going through my some of my content and doing the research, (4:37) they still say yes, I want to work with you.So before I work with anybody, we always have a (4:43) conversation. And I take them through a stress mapping session to bring awareness around (4:53) how they're responding to different areas of their life and to see if my work is even a good fit for (5:01) them. And what I have found so you asked what the differences are.I have seen the same things in (5:11) men. Well, I don't know how to articulate this super clearly. So So bear with me.
(5:21) Because it's a different it's a different tone. It's a different energy that and maybe it's coming (5:29) from the the culture of men of how that is a how it takes on a different lens than I think it does (5:40) for women there. And with women, definitely this implied energy of you need to do these things to (5:50) be successful, you need to do these things to work your way through Oh, and by the way, you've got to (5:57) do all these other things as well.And just do it all, where I think there's been some division of (6:05) that in culture, where maybe men aren't necessarily responsible for everything. I'm going to, I know (6:14) that's a generalized statement. But when you look back, it's like what was coming in was, you know, (6:19) 50s and 60s culture of definite roles of what men were responsible for what women are responsible for.(6:29) And that has meshed. But really, what I think is that women have just taken on even more of it, (6:36) right. So we all have those afflictions and all have those chronic stress patterns.But I think (6:45) that lineage piece that's been passed down from mothers and aunts, all the way down the line, (6:53) that what's been modeled, then really ingrains in us of what's, you know, we're taught what's a (7:02) good girl and how to be a polite and this and that all of those conditioning layers that come into (7:09) that, I think is a whole topic of whole two hour topic on itself. I won't go too much.
(7:16) Yeah, I mean, it's just like, I mean, you can still have some kind of (7:21) traumas even that are like passed down, you know, generation to generation.And I feel like (7:25) that, you know, can kind of play a role. Same thing, just all these expectations and like, (7:29) so the conditioning that gets passed down, you know, over time, and now we're in this (7:35) changing world where you do have more stay at home dads, and you know, the man is maybe (7:41) taking care of other things that they normally didn't do. And, you know, in past times.And (7:47) yeah, it's just always interesting, because I feel like we as women don't, don't prioritize (7:51) ourselves. Like we, like we should, I think it's getting better, you know, but we're still just (7:57) kind of ingrained a little bit to like, take care of everybody else. Before we take care of (8:03) ourselves, you know, but we don't always realize that we need to take care of ourselves first in (8:08) order to do all those things.Yep. And I love that you touched on that, because I do see this (8:13) shift that is happening. And I think in the next year, two years, there's going to be an even (8:21) bigger cultural shift around that.That's going to help facilitate women's care overall. And I (8:33) think overall, men and women really just slowing the hell down. Take the time to enjoy a moment (8:43) and you don't have to rush through everything.So I think I think that's on the horizon, too.
(8:51) Yeah, yeah, it's true. I think we're seeing the effects of all of that.You know, my husband and (8:56) I were in Sedona over the weekend, like made plans, you know, like not definite plans, but (9:02) we talked about like doing some things. But we literally just were in the moment. And we just (9:08) got to sit there and enjoy the beautiful views and you know, watch the sunrise and, (9:14) and the body needs that sometimes, you know, and I hope more people recognize that, but it's okay (9:20) to give yourself permission even to do that, because some people don't feel like they either (9:24) deserve it, or they should be doing that.And your body needs that. Yeah, well, and I think too, (9:30) is finding those moments within our day to day lives, right? It's awesome to be able to take (9:38) time away and have that condensed reset, like you had, but even because I think that there's (9:46) seasons for that, right? We most of us probably can't be on vacation all the time. I know, (9:51) I don't want to be on vacation all the time, because I love the work that I do anyway.(9:57) But finding those times of just quieting down, like today, I had a busy morning before (10:06) coming on and chatting with you. And I had this moment of, oh, I gotta hurry. I gotta hurry.It (10:14) was like, well, why do I have to hurry? Like, I knew I had enough time. But there was this little (10:19) mechanism in the back telling me I had to pack up my stuff quicker, I had to drive quicker, (10:24) I had to walk quicker, as if that's going to give me really any more extra time, right? And instead, (10:31) it just made my, my brain busier. It maybe added to a little of anxiety with it.Like, (10:39) what happens if I just slow down? And I just say, No, I'm not going to do it. And so that's what I (10:43) did. The world didn't collapse.Nothing. Nothing major happened. And I showed up.I showed up the
(10:52) Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the other important thing too, is being able to say no, (10:56) or being able to, you know, to know your schedule.And yes, like, you know, you're probably similar, (11:03) like I have the flexibility to control my schedule. And I understand a lot of people don't, (11:07) but you still need to find a time to work in some self care. Yes, like you said, on a daily basis.(11:14) Because over time, it will add up, it will, will come back to to haunt you. (11:21) Yeah, one of my favorite tips that I use mostly with women, because sometimes the only time as (11:29) women we get time to ourselves is when we're in the bathroom. So whether that's at work, (11:35) or at home, whatever it is, that if taking those small moments, instead of thinking of the next (11:42) thing you've got to do, and being in that mindset that on your bathroom breaks, what if you just (11:48) connected with your breath, just took a couple deep breaths, and just really just took that (11:55) minute and a half potty break for yourself, right, not just biologically, in relieving yourself,
(12:03) but of just quieting the mind can help really then refocus of going back in to your day.And (12:11) if you've done that, three, four or five times throughout the day, well, it's probably more than (12:17) what you had been doing, as well. So I think being able to weave these things in, and not making them (12:24) huge rituals, because for so many of us, time is a big factor. I don't have time, I've got to go (12:30) do this, I don't have enough time in between this and that, that if we can just soften a little bit, (12:36) slow down just a smidge, and be able to pull some of these mindful body connections in (12:45) throughout the day, I think can go a long way to lowering that stress response, and start to (12:51) recalibrate the nervous system a little bit, too.Yeah, and I don't know if this is something you do (12:56) with your, your clients, I've done it before with mine is even taking a step back to kind of (13:02) evaluate where you are spending your time, you know, like you kind of mentioned, you don't want (13:06) to add more to the list, like, Oh, now I gotta actually track where I am spending my time. But
(13:10) if they actually take a moment to reflect on that, I feel like a lot of the times they're (13:14) going to discover, Oh, my gosh, I just spent, you know, 30 minutes that I didn't have already on, (13:20) you know, scrolling on social media, or whatever it is, you know, so just kind of becoming aware (13:25) of that, I think is important to to understand, okay, yeah, that's the time I could actually be (13:30) devoting to like, breath work, and, you know, being in the moment, instead of looking at something (13:37) that could be causing more stress. Absolutely.Yeah, I think I'm doing little time audits (13:45) is a great way to see where you can squeeze some of those things in. And, (13:52) and also with that is prioritizing, right, those other things. So if, you know, for the social (14:01) media scrolling, if it's a matter of connecting with your people, and you want to check in and see (14:05) what they're doing, right, like, so you have that for five minutes, right, put a limit on it, (14:12) because your, your health and your needs are just as important, or that's, you know, that connection (14:18) need is important, too.But then you also need this other part of it. So I think prioritizing (14:24) is part of that as well. Yeah, yeah.What shifts for a woman when she moves out of chronic
(14:30) bracing and into this nervous system stability? Oh, I love. (14:36) I think the first things that happen is, in that softening, in that relaxation, that, (14:49) that energy starts to come back in that instead of being exhausted at the end of the night, (14:54) and just collapsing, and maybe instead of reaching for a glass of wine, just because it's just that (15:01) one thing to help relax a little bit more, that there's energy left over at the end of the day (15:07) where everything isn't exhausting. Another thing I see is women having better boundaries.They're (15:17) okay with saying no, I can't take this on or no, this isn't going to feel right for me to go to (15:25) this event, or whatever that is. So I think that's a big part. And as we start to honor our (15:32) own energy, and our own needs, then that creates a positive cycle, that that feedback loop that we (15:40) feel good, because we did this, and then we can do it again, right.So it starts to really reinforce (15:46) those patterns. And she definitely taps into her intuition more than what she has before, (15:56) because there's that clarity with the stress hormones that have quieted down. Now that clarity
(16:03) can come in where she's listening to her body of Oh, what was that thing I just felt when somebody (16:08) said this? Oh, that was a tightening here? Well, let's get curious about that.Because now the (16:14) brain's not, hey, we got to be in, we're not safe, we can't think about these other things. So (16:20) I think really coming into their intuition in such a beautiful way, is one of my favorite (16:27) effects of it. And the other thing that I see is joy returning, joy returning in those small (16:35) moments of just, you know, hearing the bird chirp out of the window going, Oh, that's lovely.Is (16:44) that versus Oh, okay, I hear it. And we're just moving on through the day. But in just really (16:49) simple ways, I think joy doesn't have to be these big moments and these big things that it can just (16:57) be from having a conversation with somebody and really connecting with them and having the joy (17:03) in that way.So that allowed all of that recalibration, I think, gives a nice structure (17:13) and foundation for all of these things to come in. And once again, they start to create that (17:18) positive cycle and patterns. Yeah, yeah.I mean, yeah, with what I do, like I, the first two weeks (17:25) of my 90 day program, you know, do some super simple nervous system stuff, you know, obviously (17:32) not to the length that you do, but but we do start with breath work. But of course, you know, (17:37) I'm tying it around food. So when they're taking those deep breaths before they eat, they're (17:42) actually like taking a minute to recognize what they're putting in their bodies, but then also
(17:46) how they're feeling, you know, afterwards and things that they're recognizing, like you said, (17:51) you know, they're actually hearing the bird chirping now.So similar, you know, kind of to (17:56) what I do with only it's with food. Now they're recognizing, oh, my gosh, that made me feel really (18:02) bad. I have no energy now, you know, after I eat that, because they actually took a minute to, (18:07) to recognize it, you know, slow the nervous system a little bit before they really have that.(18:13) Oh, I love that. Yeah, nourishing a different part of you. As you're taking in nourishment to (18:21) Yeah, build that awareness.I love that. Thank you. Thank you for doing that work.(18:30) If someone listening recognizes themselves in this conversation, (18:35) what would you say would be a good first step toward them rebuilding safety in their body? (18:40) So I would say the first steps would be to find those little moments throughout the day that you (18:47) can weave in, like those are the baby steps that you can take, and that starts to signal to the (18:54) nervous system, it's okay to let it down. And once you start to build on that, you've got a pattern (19:00) that's forming that positive positive cycle again. And I'm a big fan of my private podcast that I (19:08) have, that helps start to recognize those patterns of chronic stress and that hyper vigilance and how (19:19) it shows up in midlife.In that I have on reflection prompts and some other tips as well.
(19:26) And you can find that on my website. So full heart alchemy.com at the top is podcasts.And (19:34) yeah, take a listen. And I think that's a really good, great way of starting that process as well, (19:41) instead of scrolling for a half an hour on social media that's fueling your cortisol and your (19:48) stress, take a break and listening to more nourishing things like your podcast and, and (19:56) mine that I think really start to give those first steps for a ship. (20:04) Yeah, yeah.Awesome. I mean, this has been a great conversation. Anything we missed? (20:12) I don't think so.There is I mean, that's a it's a topic that we could talk about, (20:19) probably for hours as there's so many different layers. Yeah, but yes, our attention spans are (20:25) only so much for chatting and for listening to. Well, thank you so much.You mentioned your (20:36) website. Is there another good way for people to connect with you, whether that is on social media, (20:43) or anything else, or you just send it right to your website? (20:45) Yep, you can check out my website. It has my social links on there, everything else.(20:51) And if you wanted to check out the podcast, there's an email form if you wanted to reach (20:55) out to me as well. So that's the easiest way. Great.Love it. Well, thank you. Thank you for (21:01) sharing your knowledge for being here with me.I really, really appreciate it. And I think our (21:07) listeners will too. Thank you very much.Yeah, well, thank you for having me and thank you for
(21:12) doing the work that you do. And it definitely contributes to that holistic health and holistic (21:21) well being that we're not just looking at parts that are disconnected, that we have to pull in (21:27) and care for ourselves, that it all pulls in and weaves in nicely. So thank you so much.(21:41) That was an amazing conversation with Tanya. I'll be sure to link everything in the show notes if (21:46) you'd like to connect with her. In addition to how to book a quick call with me so I can be sure that (21:50) I'm offering the programs and events that align with what you desire, along with the opportunity (21:55) to grab my Mindful Eating Guide.If you loved this episode, make sure to subscribe and share it (22:00) with someone who needs to hear it. Because remember, healing doesn't come from doing more, (22:05) it comes from understanding better. I'm sending you so much love and I'll see you on the next (22:10) episode of PCOS Unfiltered.Nourish. Heal. Thrive.